Friday, March 31, 2006

Sticky Situation

The familiar sounds of my fighting boys
What is it this it books or toys?
Enough!..Stop! I plead (shout) in vain
As they wrestle around.. each one shrieking in pain

I come to inspect and lo and behold
For there in the midst of their stubborn stranglehold
Was a sticker from those new tzaddikim album books
So they stopped for a moment in lieu of my stern looks

How can you fight and bicker over such holy Rebbes?
What would they think
If they knew
How you’re fighting like babies..

Then I took a good look
At the face in the book
Of the rebbe ...whose name I won’t mention
The one that caused this massive altercation
I turned around and walked toward the door
As my argument, my logic...fell flat on the floor

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

How Patient...Life

How patient you are...

Month after month
You hide away..
Hiding and storing away
Within you
Your secret..your essence

Winter frosts
You wait so patient
As the lumbering earth
Finally turns you toward the sun
Toward the warmth..

First ..its a daffodil
Pushing up from below
Yellow blooms
Brilliant plumes
Of Forsythes
Tulip bulbs open..
And the code from within
Sends up a flower...on a stem
Before long the world is bursting
How patiently you waited
For the conditions you needed

Human, you're the same
Its all inside you..
Turn toward the sun
For no matter how long
You’ve been frozen
Under the cold blanket
Of snow and ice
Its all there inside you
Waiting for the light...

How patient is Life

Sunday, March 26, 2006


Thou Shall Not Take The Lords Name In Vain
Can prove to be quite a pain
When talking or writing a blog all the same
We tiptoe around His Holy Name..

So instead of spelling out G-O-D
We acronymize with an OMG
Or other sorts of tricks from our trickster stash
Like replacing the o with a simple dash-

He who talketh with mouth we did not forget you
All hope is not lost..deify your lexicon too
My goodness...gracious..Bashefer..yo see
Those are all listen to me..

The most popular G-dly exclamation I find
Is ironic gets.. it boggles the mind
Its proclaimed happily by the unassuming Jew
Have you guessed?..Its My Gosh ..I’m sure you did too

After all its the Jewish way of naming His Name
Without naming or shaming our tradition, How tame
My Gosh like Bashefer that
That’s what you hold on to your hat

Did you know..? Would you suspect?...I suspect not
For how should you know..? Why would you think..crazy thought?
That this Gosh you’ve been saying..and here’s the sum of my post
Really stands for
Holy ghost

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Its MY world.....(you can stay if you'd like to..)

A person is required to acknowledge every day Bishvili Nivra HaOlam.

The world was created for me.

What is the reason for this self-centered mantra?

Here’s my theory...
The following paragraph sounds wild but it’s actually from the Sefer .Leshem Shevo VeAchlama written by the Kabbalist Rav Shlomo Elyashiv (Rav Elyashovs Grandfather)
The true essence of God is impossible to comprehend nor approach.
God is how we perceive him. God is what he has chosem to reveal to us.
Through his attributes and actions. In other words God for all practical purposes is what we perceive of him.
Each person perceives God differently. Everyone is at their own level of understanding.
Therefore it can be said that every person has his or her own individual God in a very real sense. He continues by saying that when someone prays and is not in touch with God..does not relate to Hashem, is thinking about a an abstract idea of God he is engaging in a form of idol worship.
That is not YOUR God.
Someone that mimics a person on a higher level than he is worshiping another God. Not the same God but with a different understand..but an entirely other God.

Now. Bear with me...
The world is a top down world. Everything emanates from and exists in God. (see God is One).
If everyone has their own personal God then it must be that everyone has their own personal world.
The world as we know it is in essence billions of worlds overlapping. Just like on a computer network. Everyone exists on the same network and can communicate on any screen within the network each person still works on their own screen and exists in the network on their own personal computer.
So Beshvili Nivra Haolam is not some abstract Aggada but a very real reality.

It’s me and God ...he is my world I am his world.

Everyone else? They’re just extras..props. Just like on a movie set theres the main actor and all the extras that surround him to support him (or in real life challenge him).
If this is the case then the mitzvah of Judging people favorably takes on a new urgency. When you judge someone you are defining that person in your world!
Not only that but the way you judge others is how God sets the bar for your world when it comes time to reward or punish you.
That’s also why I might be a little opinionated. After all it’s my world I should formulate opinions on what’s going on in it.

Monday, March 20, 2006

The Puppeteer

Every one settle down..Shhh
Bobby sit in the front..Next to Zaidie..
Uncles..aunts sit in this section
Kids settle down
Neighbors hide your glee..
Are we ready?

The Puppet Show..



Curtains slide open


A long ooooooh from the crowd..
As the cutest baby puppets
In the cutest baby outfits
Come dancing and cooing aloud

Ahh the look of pride on the puppeteers face

Now the music picks up pace..
As the puppets are now children
The audience claps to the rhythm
Strings yanking their arms
And legs and heads
Their frozen smiling faces

Clap Clap Clap
Oy look at how Zaidies face shines with joy

Hands reaching into bags of food
Munching ..eating..laughing
Ooh look at that puppet sing
And say over a vort
And the Mah Nishtana
What a good puppet..
Good puppet

Clap Clap Clap
Ahhh the look of pride on the puppeteers face..

The puppeteer with his silly fixed smirk
With silly confidence does he jerk
Those strings...those strings..
Pull...push...yank ...jerk
Another act
More food in the back
The adolescent puppets
Oy do they look handsome in their hats for us
Ha Ha

The string rips with a snap
Whats that puppet doing???
Bring him back
A look of horror spreads over the
Horrified audience
Running for the doors...
As the puppet...sprouts some hair
Voice deepens..
Comes loose...and the others too
They’re Puppets!
Grab them!

The puppeteer shouts..
How dare you shame me!
How dare you embarrass me
You’re ruining my show!

Poor Puppeteer.
It was cute while it lasted.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Dial Denial

I have a second car...
I have a single Brother-in-law in Yeshiva

Fill in the blanks.

We’ll call him Gedalya
Now because he’s “Yeshivish”
He doesn’t listen to the car radio
Only..that he does

It seems that lots of Yeshiva guys
Let their hair down in their cars
They allow themselves to wander to stations
That God forbid anyone should find out..

So...I’ve noticed a funny thing
With this Gedalya of mine..
He always tries to cover his tracks
By moving the dial to more innocent tracks
Just before returning the keys

However, as if to ease his guilt
there usually is some sort of correlation
A contrast of sorts...
between the “guilty” station and the “innocent” one.
For example if he’s been listening to
Sports Radio 66 then he’ll move it to News Radio 88
Lite FM 106.7 then he’ll move it to WQXR Classical Radio
Z100 All the latest Hits then he’ll move it to 107.9 Kol B’Rama Lakewood Jewish Music

So imagine my surprise yesterday when I turned on my car after he’d returned it and found a CD of R’ Matisyahu Salomon playing!

Gedalya..what the heck have you been listening to!???

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Did you feel it too..?

7:38 AM Shabbos morning
That’s when I felt it..

I feel it once a year and it lasts
Perhaps an hour or more

Those subtle pleasures
They’re truly the best

My eyes slowly opened
Early morning sunlight
Coloring the walls and ceiling
My eyes lazily watching the shadows
Cast by the slowly turning ceiling fan

The window was open
A cool/warm breeze was enveloping me
This breeze was of the sweetest nature
Sweet scent..sweet taste
The birds were out after months of silence
Chirping out the sweetest songs

While winter is great for what it’s worth
There’s this incredible feeling
That washes over me
When spring arrives

If it weren’t shabbos I would’ve had
Vivaldi’s Spring add the finishing touch.

It is a subtle pleasure
A subtle moment
The realization that spring, warmth, growth
Has at last arrived

And while I’ve only felt it
Some 20 odd years
I suspect I’ve had this feeling
In other forms....many times before

So while some may California Dream
And others to Miami stream..

I’ll keep my Four Seasons
For all the above reasons...

Who wanted to see a picture of me?

BTW: Does anyone know of a way to convert wafer rolls into a dependable source of energy?

Friday, March 10, 2006

Happy Purim..!

Happy Purim


all of us

Davids Blog

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Deal

When I was 14 and drastic changes were wreaking havoc to my body.
The child I was...
was afraid to let go,
to disappear along with his peers.

So my... new adolescent evolving self made a deal then with the fading child...
I told him he could come along and join me...
as long as he doesn’t make a total fool of me.

I’m thankful that he stayed.

Now I never get bored
of watching an airplane take off...
of seeing the Empire State Building..
of riding an escalator..of observing fields..beaches...marching bands..
of blowing bubbles...
the thrill of a new friendship...
the comfort of a long hug....
riding trains...
and roughhousing with my own kids....

He’s been a good companion..and he’s loving blogland as well....

and yes..He's psyched for Purim..

Monday, March 06, 2006

Purim Confession

I have a little confession to make.

I don’t like Purim much.
Since my teenage years it's been a day I dread
I’m just not a big drinker and not a good faker..

I used to hate having to go into peoples houses collecting in these silly uncomfortable costumes choking on cigarettes..pretending I’m geshmak only to have this rich smug fellow humiliate he called down his Bubby..Zaidie..children in Pjamas to watch us entertain him so that we could receive his carefully signed check.

I can’t stand drunk people. I get queasy watching them..and can’t stand when they put their arm around me and pull my neck..screaming and crying their confessions in my ear with their horrible alcoholic and throw-up breath.

I got drunk once in my life on Purim and had a terrific headache (not to be confused with the one FDR had) and hangover for a year and half afterwards.

Then there’s the whole Mishloach Manos thing. This one gave we have to give him...but they didn’t give us last year.... Uh oh look who’s coming up the driveway shoot we didn’t prepare anything for them..quickly rip the tag off of that one..Nooo not that one ..that one is from their sister in law..they’ll know what we did...shhh [smile] A Freilichen Purim....

What can I say...I just never found my place in Purim.

My best Purims were In Eretz Yisrael. They were quite spiritual and full of meaning.

However now that I have’s fun watching them have a good time. I just dread the day they become old enough to want to drink and smoke.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Vertical Journeys...

Its crowded..
nervous politeness...
'excuse me...getting off'
'That’s my foot'..'sorry'..'its ok'..
Sneak a peek..pretty woman..rolls eyes..
Looking the numbers..
'Must be the local'...polite chuckle..
'Room for one more?'...'sure'..inhale
She smiles back..and mouths 'thank u'
Its not so crowded anymore
Stifle a cough..a sneeze..
Vibrate vibrate...whisper.'.i’m in an elevator I’ll call u back'
Ummm we’re not moving..
unspoken panic registers in everyone’s eyes..
ok we’re moving again
Calm down
'Getting off...excuse me'
Is this your floor too..?

An elevator is a microcosm of life. We form subliminal relationships..likes and dislikes..we try to live peacefully not to get in other peoples way..everyone just wants to get to the destination without incident..all condensed within a minutes time.

Anyone looking for a Shidduch..listen to me. An elevator is a great place to observe character traits.
Here are 5 distinct characters I’ve encountered..

Happy go lucky.
Almost always from out of NYC. Gets into the elevator with a big goofy smile and no matter what happens that smile is there. We can be stuck for days..he’ll be smiling..doling out friendly advice and saying things like...”Damn thing seems to be stuck..” with that ever present smile.

Gets polite. Lets people in and out before him. Stands straight..eyes looking around. He’s the one that usually makes the “This must be the local” quip.

Expressionless. Staring straight ahead. I suspect he’s secretly terrified of elevators.

Always goes in first..always presses the Close Doors button 100 times so that no one else can get in and prolong his trip.. Everytime the elevator stops he makes these annoying tsk sounds.

Uber Selfish.
2 true stories..
1. Runs to the elevator..screaming..hold the door...hold the door...after he gets in ..someone else runs thru the lobby screaming ..hold the door..hold the door...but he frantically presses the Close Door button and the door shuts in the newcomers face
2. Elevator full of people..this guy is finishing his phone call. The cell..doesnt work in the elevator so he sticks his hand in the door and holds up the entire elevator until his call is over...when someone complains he puts his fingertips together and shakes his hand slowly in the classic Israeli way of silently saying “a little patience...” grrrr

'Getting off...
Watch where you’re going...yeah you on the cellphone...that’s my foot you just stepped on..
Come to think of it..I have a shidduch for you....'