Sunday, February 19, 2006

One more step...

I walked to a Shalom Zachor this Friday night. It was 20 minutes away and for those of you in the New York Metropolitan know how freakin cold it was.
Me..being the old soul that I am..trasported myself into another era.
Here's a peek into my mind 12 minutes into the return walk.
Cursing myself for not having worn my really warm winter coat I was literally shaking in my skin.
I was walking into the wind and after every gust my ears burned a little more my forehead became a little more numb and the chill went right down to my bones.
One step at a time.
Then I began to wonder.
My grandmother went on a forced death march in Poland for 2 months during the fierce Eastern European winter.
For 2 months!
How did they do it?
Can anyone explain this to me?
Were they not human?
Were they made of something other than bones flesh and skin?
Day after day. Wearing coats thinner than mine. Tattered rages instead of shoes.Step by step...Day... night... day..freezing
If suddenly instead of my block in sight a few blocks ahead, I were to be forced to walk for another 2 months... It'’s too much to comprehend.
We're not talking about some hero, or someone out of a legend. We're talking about my Bubby!
Would something physically happen to me to help me survive? Or would my will to survive be strong enough to take the biting cold for another..not 5 minutes but 6 weeks.
To me it's mind boggling..
Minute 18.
I'm so desperate to be indoors already my mind ceases to think anymore..I can see my house..another step...another step...survive...
Minute 20.
Thank God I'm home.
Warm and toasty home. 2006.

Suddenly it's all abstract to me again. I’m no longer desperate to know how she did it.