Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Etched in

I haven’t moved or twitched my face muscles for 24 hours now so I’m feeling a little like a zombie.

You see.. yesterday as I was shaving something very disturbing came into my focus. I suddenly could make out very faint lines across my forehead and one between my eyes. Could it be..wrinkles?
Now, I’m not a vain person at all. The only time I glance in the mirror is for my morning shave and grooming. So what’s the big deal?
I’ll tell you what the big deal is.
I’ve begun to notice how the spiritual really mirrors the physical world and in this respect especially so.
When a baby is born..through childhood ..developing, sure they have some inclinations and characteristics they’re born with but it’s easy for them to change to be goaded into bettering themselves and changing their habits. They’re faces are smooth. Nothing permanent is registered.
As you grow older, it becomes increasingly more difficult to change your character and characteristics. Your personality becomes etched in your face, it becomes an indelible part of you. You can look at an old man and get an idea if he’s easy going or grumpy, angry or happy.
At that point it is almost impossible to change your ways. Most people go to their deathbeds with the same Middos that took them there even with death staring them in the face.

And so this is not a moment of vanity..

I’m just not ready to concede my personality yet.
I’m not ready to etch my likeness in flesh....