Shabbos Nap Blues

The Shabbos nap is a very Jewish phenomena. What other Cultural/Religious group in the US just stops the world in its tracks and takes a nap?
The Shabbos nap is like a 3 day Yom Tov packed into 2-3 hours. You enter feeling good..you come out feeling down, itchy, tired, suffering from heartburn and just blah.
The only way of describing it is..take a glass bottle ..stuff in bread, matjas and shmaltz herring, a few shots of scotch, chopped liver, eggs with lots of onions, ptcha, hot chulent (beans, barley, meat, kishke) and kugel...seal the bottle and store it in a hot, dark, damp place for a few hours.
For awhile I’ve been toying with the idea of skipping this black hole in Shabbos..but the temptation is just too great.
However, after much observation and experimenting I’ve come up with a few tips to taking the blues out of the Zzzs.
1.Room temperature. The temperature should be a drop cooler than what you usually keep it at. If you wake up in a stuffy room..yuck. If you wake up in a room that’s too cold you’ll be too dependant on your cover and chances are you’ll be shvitzing a little, under the down cocoon.
2.Limit your nap to 1 1/2 hours. If you sleep for less than an hour you’ll just feel rotten and if you sleep for more than 2-3 hours you’ll feel even worse.
3.Have natural light coming into your room. The only thing worse than waking up to a stuffy room is waking up to dark stuffy room.
4.Don’t linger in bed too long. Get up..open a window..wash your hands and face..and then unlock your door so your kids can come piling in (for those of us with kids).

After all is said and done there is a strong Jewish tradition for the Shabbos nap. The AriZal mentions that he would be zoche to visit gan eden during his shabbos naps. He must’ve followed these guidelines because it sure can be hell....

DISCLAIMER: Picture above is not me.