Wednesday, December 14, 2005

My Shower Life...

Ok I admit shower life has been pretty dull for a pretty long time now. Just a boring shower head with boring soap and shampoo and since I shower early in the morning I don’t even get to sing anymore. For awhile now I’ve been suspecting that my wife has a far more exciting shower experience with all those scrunchy pink things and scrubs lying around.

A few weeks ago I decided to spice up my time under the spray. I went out and splurged on a new super shower head for $200. Wow, my shower time has increased by 50% and I just get lost under the hot super spray of that huge head.
After a few days I started playing around with the different settings.
I’ll be honest with you, I don’t get most of them. First there’s the limp “we’re almost out of water” setting...why would anyone choose that? Then there’s the painful setting that feels like thousands of needles shooting into you at once...sort of what it must feel like in the Braveheart battle with all the arrows coming down at once. Then there’s the “massage” setting.... I mean my 3 year old son gives better and stronger massages than that. Well the one I like and use, is the strong, wide and steady rainlike spray with the center pulsing a little harder..mmmm

On to the soap and shampoo. I don’t shop much so I’m sort of out of the loop when it comes to what’s out there. I’ve been using Irish Spring soap and a mixture of Pert, VO and a few other shampoos.
I had an eye opening experience last week when I went to my sister for shabbos. I’m taking a shower and there on the windowsill is about 30 types of shampoo. For a second I thought I was standing naked in aisle 14!
When did Snapple start making Shampoo?
There’s Strawberry, Raspberry, Strawberry Kiwi, Strawberry Banana, Chamomile, Vanilla, Green Apple, Apple Cinnamon...yum to name a few.
Now I know where my grandmothers ever present scent comes from, she must use Onion Garlic shampoo.
Then there’s shampoo for oily hair, dry hair (how do you lather it in?), damaged hair, oily damaged hair, very oily hair, oily hair with dandruff, healthy hair and damaged dry healthy hair with oily dandruff. And then there was one copy of each in conditioner. What I don't get is sister covers her hair and my brother in law is bald.
I felt real deprived. The shower experience has evolved and I’ve been left behind.
I’ve got some serious catching up to do.
After all is said and done..the shower is one of the last places on earth where you can truly get away from it cell emails..just you... the steam..and the cleansing cascade of water....

No there’s no hidden message here..just a frivolous sketch of my shower world.