"..at least waste your time with something important."

100th and Final Post!

2006-06-28T18:15:00.000-04:00

Another Day...Another Dream Dies

2006-06-22T13:54:00.000-04:00

A child is born
The world fills with bubbles
Dreams...
Opportunities
Endless possibilities

A 10 year old dreaming
Awed by the bubbles that fill
The Air
Your Dreams
Floating higher...still

Each bubble a dream

Doctor
Rebbe
Baseball player
Lawyer
Rosh Yeshiva
Policeman
Painter
Rich guy
Singer
Kiruv
Professor

As the days pass
The hours disappear
Another week
Another year
The bubbles slowly
Pop
Slowly
Pop
One by one
Too late to become this
Too late to learn that
Pop
Pop

And the years go by...
And you do And you try
Until you grow old and tired
Weak and retired
And you lay
Suspended
On your hammock
Under your favorite oak tree
You look up and you see
A few bubbles float by
In the clear blue sky

You smile and you sigh
So content
Serene
Lazily watching the last bubble fly

The sum
Of what you’ve become

And as your eyes close
The sky suddenly fills anew
With millions of bubbles
As a new child...is born

Trends

2006-06-20T22:14:00.000-04:00

What is a trend
Is it a means or an end?
How can beauty
..................... yesterday?

Vanish away?

What is beauty?
Real or imagined?
A car that was truly beautiful and desirable in its day
Sitting ugly in the garage bay.
A pair of glasses that was the height of high design
Now hidden away thick in its dusty shrine.
Weren’t they beautiful in their time?
They haven’t changed

We want to know
that you know
and they know
that we have
what you say
and they say
is beautiful
Is desirable
And the minute
That they stop
And you stop
To say so
Then the new scent
Disappears
And we wait
And see
What you’ll say
And they’ll say
Is beautiful
Next

And that my friend
Is a trend

True Love

2006-06-16T13:41:00.000-04:00

L’cha Dodi...Likraas Kalah
Every week...I dance for you
I dance with joy
I dance with shame
Every week you find me
Laying in the mud
You lift me
Embrace me
My mind cannot fathom
So my heart takes over..
Your love
Your love for me
As you take me in you arms
I hold you
Mold you to me
You hold me...kiss me
A tear escapes from
My heart
As I whisper..
It’s you I love
You’re my one and only
You whisper back..I know..I know
And hold me tighter still
I try to commit to memory
The sweetness of your lips
The scent of roses
I look into your eyes and I promise
I promise to love you and no other
Please let me feel you this intensely
Every minute...every moment
Hoping deep down
That you won’t have to come looking for me
Next week..
That I won’t have to avert my eyes
In shame
As you lift me from the mud...into your arms..
Good Shabbos

Please remember me...20th of Sivan

2006-06-13T21:45:00.000-04:00

Kolymaya, Ukraine 20th Sivan 5449 (1689)

Watching my Zeidie shuffle into the room on one leg and a stick settling into his favorite chair at the window. The room and house bare of food and provisions. His ever sad eyes staring into the distance..the steppes..rolling hills..tattered village.
Those eyes that have been witness to the greatest tragedy that has befallen us since the destruction of Jerusalem 1500 years ago.
The glorious communities of Poland, Galitzia, Volhynia, Ukraine and Lithuania. By invitation of Casimir The Great the Jews prospered here for 300 years. We enjoyed unparalleled freedom and peace. Our Rabbis organized a sweeping pseudo-government that enjoyed almost complete autonomy. The Council of the Four Lands made sure everyone was taken care of, settled all court cases and was led by the greatest leaders of their time including the Taz and the Shach.

All this came to a shattering and devastating end in 1648-1649. We’re still so stunned that it’s difficult to comprehend.
In the year 1648 Ukranian Cossacks organized a militia under the rabid anti-semite Bogdan Chmelniecki. They came sweeping in from the Eastern Steppes like a sudden dark thunderstorm in midday. The attacks against the Jews began almost immediately and thus 2 years of hell began. These years have been come to be known as Tach v’Tat.
The Cossacks were fierce warriors and were expert horse riders. They came thundering in to a town on their swift and powerful horses, swords drawn and overwhelmed the defenseless Jews. The drunken shouts, terrified screams
another child murdered
another girl raped

After 2 years the incomprehensible number stares us in the face.
300,000.
300,000 men women and children killed. Every single one stabbed or pierced to death.
Tens of thousands of our sisters, mothers and daughters brutally raped.
Entire villages wiped out.
Desolate.
Entire regions reduced to poverty..starvation.
A lone violinist tries to capture the sadness the grief..the solitude.
How does one bury ones entire family?
How does one pick up the pieces?
With the joyful memories haunting us in the hollowness of the empty children’s room.

Sure during the crusades we’d suffered a few hundred here..a few hundred there...
During other troublesome times..there have been massacres.
But never on this scale...

The Council is meeting this week in Zhitomir down the road.
They’ve decided to institute a day of remembrance and prayer.
Every year on the 20th of Sivan Jews will gather and say special selichos composed for the occasion and fast.
There were those that were against it on the argument that who needs a special day..how can we ever forget what happened?
There were those that argued that it won’t help. It’ll be forgotten in another few generations anyhow. Perhaps a worse tragedy will befall us G-d have mercy.
So I sit and watch my Zeidy and wonder what’s causing that tear to slowly roll down his cheek.
Is it memories of his parents being killed in front of him?
Of his infant son?
Of his beautiful sister who committed suicide after 2 weeks of violation and humiliation?

40 years have passed since 1649 and the last survivors are passing on swiftly..on to a better place to rejoin the 300,000 that await them.
Who will bear witness to what happened?
Will future generations remember?
Remember our tragedy?

_____________

This Friday is the 20th of Sivan. Please spare one moment to remember Tach vTat.
Our grandparents and their tragedy.

Let’s hope in 200 years from now (if g-d forbid Moshicach hasn't come) our great-granchildren won’t be here pleading to spare a moment to remember the Holocaust.

YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaw!

2006-06-11T16:44:00.000-04:00

Here I am cruising down the road on Friday when suddenly this car just rolls right through a Stop sign and crosses my path. I had no time to swerve or stop and I SMASHed right into her side spinning her car around.
It happened so fast yet so sloooow freeze frame...The moment when you internalize ...”I’m about to crash”
To the shattering glass twisting metal screeching tire sound and sensation...
My car ended up in someone’s front yard windshield and other windows shattered..I got out and angrily confronted this black woman..
You Idiot*..idiot! didn’t you see the Stop sign??
Totally disoriented but feeling fine...I called my wife to tell her I’m fine.
Next thing I know..the cops are there. She admits that she didn’t see the Stop sign.
I feel a tap on my shoulder it’s a paramedic asking if I’m the driver of that car...
I answer affirmatively and they tell me not to move. My neck is stabilized a board is pressed to my back and I’m swept off my feet. I protest in vain...
My poor wife expecting to find a small fender bender sees a cacophony of flashing lights and her husband being lifted into the back of an ambulance.
Suddenly I wasn’t feeling so good. For a split second I was even thinking..wouldn’t it be ironic to die 2 days after my 2045 post?
If I died would anyone in bloggosphere know? Would they just assume I decided to stop blogging?

Thank G-d I was released 2 hours later..and I’m fine.

The crazy thing about the crash was..It was alot of fun!
The Airbag opened and I didn’t feel a thing. It was quite the thrill.
The feeling of crashing..smashing...but this invisible force field around you that cushions you from hitting anything.

This aint’ your parents car crash.

*Name changed to protect identity.

June 7, 2045. A look back

2006-06-07T20:42:00.000-04:00

June 7, 2045
Just got back from the doctor. My arthritis has really been acting up again.

Wow it’s been 40 years!

Time to reflect a little...

a quick look around the blogosphere....

Ahhh remember those innocent early days of blogging? The days when we actually had to read the blogs word for word instead of having them zipped into your brains? When we had to suffer through annoying anonymous comments without being able to zap their writers to oblivion.

It’s so cute to see all the new generations of bloggers coming and going over the years..but the first generation is still king.

Who would’ve believed back then..that Frum Girl would be a multi millionaire from her Alice in Wonderland/Cinderella movie series?

That Social Worker/Mom /Grandmom would be showing her paintings at MOMA?
Remember her first Cove painting?

That Toronto Pearlie would be such a famous author..?

ZenJew, TurquoiseBlue and Genendy have all held the prestigious Poet Laureate post.

How long has it been since the Parliament in the UK amended the rules to allow a US born citizen to be Queen clearing the way for Kasambas ascension to the throne?

35 years since we were all arrested at anonym00kies over the top wedding...at 4AM.

How long since Afraid Girl became Courageous Woman?

Its been 22 years since Nobody became Somebody (and 5 since she admitted she LOVES poetry).

TuesdaysWishes..have come true..and she's moved on to Wednesday..

11 years since Open Up has Closed Up.

Mata Hari has become the first Orthodox Woman CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
Btw...Your family looks great on the cover of Time.

25 years since Moiy got the word “teh” into the English language (btw..Happy 63rd and Happy 144th to your neighbor).

theonlywayiknow has finally admitted that she knows other ways...

10 years since I discovered that the new incredible Rebbitzen at our shul is none other then Ayala.

Lakewood Venter is complaining that he’s not being let into Lakewood Courtyard assisted living home because rumour has it...he goes to Bingo games
.
Chaverah has come back after 40 years..remember her?

BrownEyedGirl spotted a hottie being wheeled down the boardwalk.

Great post today by Also a Chussid explaining the 16 different splinter groups of Satmar.

On a positive note the FDA has finally approved a Viagra for women pill, which Dating Master Jerusalem slipped into his wifes drink a few weeks ago
...they haven’t been seen since.

Wow great post today by JewishBeforeHuman.

A working girl..moved to the states..I convinced her to change that title as it can have other connotations here in the States.

A Frum Idealist is still an Idealist..incredible considering what we’ve been through.

The Pragmatician has long since given up being pragmatic.

Eishet Chayil is truly an Eishet Chayil and mother.

Sarah has posted phenomenal pictures of cells inside a rose petal.

Lvnsm is taking a break..(this time for real).

Barbara has finally crossed that verge of thinking threshold....she’s no longer a verge-en.

YY has just released his newest music list..wow love that new song by Sean Preston Federline Spears. I just read a report saying that his phenomenal voice can be attributed to a re-alignment of his vocal chords that can only occur when dropped at a very young age.

Stacey I know you’re approaching 80 but you still look and write like a youngster.

Masmida I finally found that Ushpizin DVD...and....I saw a DVD player at the Antique Store down the block..if you’re interested let me know.

SouthernYid loves his new farm in Oklahoma, part of his never ending quest to live in the smallest most out of town community possible.

Karl and Shoppy are about to celebrate their 39th Anniversary. Who could forget the 30th bash we threw for them?..our very own Blog couple
....they’re so happy out on their gorgeous yacht in the Atlantic.

Bueno. Tengo que ir ahora.. mi grandkids aquí deberá visitar..

Yup 17 years since Spanish became our official language....it’s kinda growing on me..

Adios.

Empty Room

2006-06-05T16:06:00.000-04:00

Empty room..
Gaudy
Big
Gaudy
Haughty
She stands over her precious
Protecting her
Watching over
Windows all around
Not a sound
Faces pressed to the pane
Insane
Intense gazes
Siblings..Grandparents..Principals..Teachers..Rebbeim
Faces..
Presence...
The room..the air
Thick
Unsafe..Unfit
For your little lungs..
Must shield her
Don’t fight..
Don’t fight it..
It worked for your sisters
Shhh Stop.....
Its for your good..
Mommy stop..I can’t breathe
Why are you so difficult..?
Cant you see I’m protecting you..?
Ziesskeit..
Look at this air..
Stop..
Just a little more...
shhh
All those eyes..
Thru the dusty air..
struggling
Mommy...stop...you’re hurting me..
YOU’re sMOTHERing me...
Shhhh...stop
Shhh..
Anxiously..oh Hashem....
Pinning her...
please just a few more minutes
Years
Mom STOP
I Can’t FUCKING Breathe

Gasp

The eyes disappear
One by one..
Shaking their heads..
Leaving
Smudge marks on the pane
The pain
Exhausted..

Just go

In disgust...

Dawn

2006-05-31T19:55:00.000-04:00

Surging mass through the narrow stone streets ..
brothers and sisters hurrying
Hushed murmur..scurrying
Pre dawn darkness...
Pulled magnetically toward the holiest spot on earth.
After an exhausting night in the Beis Hamidrash
Adrenaline pumping
Excited birds circling overhead
Thousand of fluttering Taleisim
Swaying...
Praying..
A white bird..
Circles up above..
Awestruck
Thousands of voices
Sephardi
Ashkenazi
Chassidish
Litvish
Dati
Yemenite
Reaching a crescendo..Shma..
Be still my heart..
Impatiently looking around..
for Moshiach...
The moment..
Tzur Yisrael Kumah B’ezras Yisrael..
Ufdei K’numecha..Yehuda V’Yisrael...
Then...
Decible level drops from LOUD to...
Absolute silence...
Collective sigh
At the very moment the sun light fights it way over the horizon
Lights up the sky..
Colors the city..
Gold
Brilliant
In the fervent silence.
No different accents
One People...
I look around one more time...
So...sure he’d come...

.

Live, Love, Learn

2006-05-30T21:05:00.000-04:00

Spring..
Shavuos..
Giving..Receiving...
Spring is a time of Love..
Shavuos a time to Learn
Love...
Every Mitzvah..is a task from him...our love
The less it makes sense..the more love...
Life...
The lifeblood of our Nation...
Heart..Soul...Body..
Learn...
His wisdom...
Attach your mind to his..

This Shavuos I want to...
Live to Learn
Learn to Live
Live to Love
Love to Live
Learn to Love
Love to Learn
Live to Love to Learn

WARNING: This product may cause........

2006-05-28T20:53:00.000-04:00

I interrupt this blog for an important Common Sense announcement.

A few weeks back there were some letters written to Mishpacha magazine from people complaining about the fact that the magazine advertises too many luxury items..such as Pesach Hotel packages etc..

I find it mind boggling that someone would sit down and pen a letter about this.
As my Granadfather always says..Vuss iz dein Chazzerishe bizness..vuss s’tit zich bei yennem (What’s it your Chazzerishe business what the other guy does)??
Many blogs online complain about the fact that people are living luxurious lifestyles putting pressure on neighbors to live like the Joneses.

But those that can’t sleep at night..should learn some Mussar..instead of complaining about all the luxuries in our communities.

While talking about the influx of luxurious lifestyles...shouldn’t we also talk about Lo Sachmod (not coveting)?

Why do we always take the easy way out by shifting the weight onto those things not fully in our control?

It doesn’t say Thou shalt not make thy neighbor covet....it says...You...every individual shall not covet.

Yet we project all our personal smallness, failures on society..

If you’ve ever bought a Lotto ticket or heard a lotto commercial you’ve seen in small letters on bottom or heard at the end of the commercial....”if you have a gambling problem call 1-800-........”

I think we should add to every advertisement about Pesach Getaways..Luxury Cars etc..”if you have a Lo Sachmod problem call 1-800......” and set up a 24 hour hotline for those that get heart palpitations every time their neighbor makes another extension.

The Lost City

2006-05-25T21:06:00.000-04:00

A quick read through the frum blogosphere will find you in various locales.

In the New York area you have many bloggers in Flatbush a few in Boro Park a smattering of Williamsburg and Manhattan.

Lakewood is surprisingly well represented and so are other towns and villages in suburbia.

However there is one city that is eerily absent.

If one should live his life on blogs (as I suspect many do) they'd never know this place exists.

It’s a major Jewish center...and yet I have yet to see a single blog written by someone from this town or about this town.

It's as if there are no issues..or poets living there...

This modern day virtual Atlantis is none other than Monsey.

Where on earth is Monsey?
Anyone who has ever taken the Monsey Bus knows that Monsey people have plenty to say.

Are they still living in the dark ages up there....in the Ramapo Hills?

Just something I’ve observed and wondered about.

Anyone have any clue?

subway LIFE

2006-05-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

The platform fills in the blink of an eye
Swarming masses exiting doors...
Descending stairs..
They take their places
This one...right at the edge
That girl ..behind the pole
A crowd gathers to watch....
Some out of boredom
Others to enjoy
The strains of a violin
The high pitched ebb and flow
Of the Celtic tones..drawn from the bow
Delicately pulled by the coal black fingers
Of the coal black violinist with his fixed white smile
White glint in his eye..and white hat on a tilt

The businessman in the sharp blue suit
Locks eyes..
With the girl in the faded jeans..
Forging connection..
connection Forging?

Serenaded by the surreal tones of the violin

While the girl next to him fearfully
Eyes everyone in her sight

One fellow anxiously looks
Into the dark void
Waiting..looking for something
A train..?
perhaps

for him
the train rumbles in
terrifyingly loud
powerful

Another contently reads the art
On the walls
Listens to the music

for he
barely notices
the train has come..
to whisk him away

Look around...
Within 15 minutes
Everyone here now will be gone
This platform will be full
With an entirely new cast of characters
As people come and go...to their destinations
Trains rumble by..
Empty...
Full....
New passersby..New pass you bys
New lovers ..New haters

Witness to it all
The strains of the high pitched
Violin and the coal black fingers..
White smile and white hat on a tilt..
The look in his eye tells thousands of tales
As a new crop of people fill his space waiting
For the train that will take them away..
From his world..
Away

Is Love all you really need...?

2006-05-17T15:29:00.000-04:00

This week we read the Tochacha in shul.

Moshe is goading the Jews to stay true to Hashem and the Torah.

What always bothered me was the positive (reward) to negative (punishment) ratio in this warning.
Haven’t we all been taught the importance of positive reinforcement?

This day and age when punishment is frowned down upon and here we have 1 page of rewards and 3 pages of pretty graphic punishment.

I’ve noticed often times I’ll really reach a spiritual high..I’ll daven good...feel a connection...and 10 minutes later it’ll disappear. Why does that happen..?

A quick peek around Blogworld will confirm..lottsa talk of Love...often accompanied with a resigned sigh at our inability to consummate that love..

I’ve come to realize that Love without Fear is not worth much.
If you bribe a child not to do something wrong..it’ll only work as long as the bribe is more exciting to the child than what he’d like to do.
If there was no fear of getting caught or the thought of hurting someone at all...there would be a lot more adultery in the world. Love can only work as long as you’ll never encounter anything that you’ll like more even if just temporarily.
Love can work if it’s backed up by Fear.
You can try goading a child with candies all days to no avail..the threat of one slap will get em running. That’s not ideal..but that threat will keep us in line.
The Steipler once said..the reason for cancer..is to instill fear into human hearts. We live in a time with so little fear.
Especially concerning our love of Hashem no matter how deep and real..is still abstract.
Hence all the threats of punishment.
We all feel our stomach tightening and chest thumping when we hear of someone young with cancer or a tumor..the realization for an instant that there is something to fear.

Only then can we reach the higher ideal of fear..which is the fear of ruining the love we share.

Lag B'Omer in Meron

2006-05-12T17:05:00.000-04:00

Darkness descends
Masses ascend
One purpose One destination
One soul ..The soul of a nation..
The soul of Our soul Revealed
The Zohar..
It’s an incredible
Indelible
Experience
2000 years ago R’ Shimon Bar Yochai revealed the secrets of the Torah..
The soul of our wisdom..
Breathing life into generations
Into me...
Higher and Higher up the mountain...
My focus becomes clearer and more focused
Inside...Inside...Inside
Inside
Everything outside
Falls to the wayside
Look at the bonfire..
At the bottom...dirty wood smoldering
Higher...hot flames dancing
Higher yet...sparks...soaring..
Thousands of sparks....filling the dark sky
Look higher...at every person..
At every human flame...

Pushing into the hot sweaty...room..
Lifted into the air...crying..praying...
Breathing..soaking...
Then dancing..swirling...
Inside..Inside..
Immersed in Jews..
Throngs crushing the life out of me..
Until I too become a spark..
And float high above...
Its all good..
Its all high...
Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai

Miles and miles away from everything mundane..
This is what its all about

I’ll see you Wednesday..

Why I wear a white shirt....

2006-05-11T13:20:00.000-04:00

There has been talk on some blogs about the color of ones shirt and how that affects public perception in Lakewood.

Here are a few reasons why I wear a white shirt.

1. There's no question that when you do something different people will stare and wonder.
This is not something new. In every community in every age if you do something out of the norm people will wonder...
Fact is 95% of people in Lakewood wear white shirts.

2. Wearing a white shirt says..yes, I have to work but where do I want to feel most comfortable?
In the halls of the Yeshiva/Beis Midrash or in the corporate halls?

3. I feel different enough inside that I don't feel the need for an article of clothing to make me feel that way.

4. To quote Bill Blass "The classiest item of clothing..is..hands down..the starched white shirt.."

5. It matches everything.

20 years in Heaven..8 hours in Hell

2006-05-09T12:03:00.000-04:00

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovehellhellhellhelltearslovelovel
lovelovehellhellyouhellhelllovelovelove
lovelovetearshellhellhellhellovelovelov
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Can 8 hours of hell overshadow 20 years of heaven?
Where is the justice in that?

I just want to screeeeeaaaam
Why?

May Hashem give you the strength
Claw
Tear
Tear
Rip
Fight
your way out of
------These 8 hours...
Tear
Back to the light
Of
love
love
---- love
love

Heaven

We can no longer continue...

2006-05-07T22:34:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry it's come to this...

We were once so hot together..we looked good..and complimented each other..

Then I started getting the itch...and you felt it...

I couldn't help it...it was your fault..and you know it..

It's reached a point now....you just make me feel old...look old...

and lately..

I've been having violent thoughts about....sharp blades..

About getting rid of you...in the most extreme and violent way possible..

My Dear....Sefirah Beard...your time has come...

Where have all the Thinkers gone?

2006-05-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

Where have all the thinkers gone...?
Where is that smoky salon?
Where is the passionate discourse?
Where is the oratory voice gone hoarse..?

Marx...Herzl...Bilaik
Slabodka...Novhardik
Spinoza...Locke...Kant
Izhbitche...Kotzk...Salant
The magic of an idea...an ideal
The will....the desire so REAL

I close my eyes..and travel back in time..
To a Paris café ..where praising Monet is a crime
To a premier in an Opera hall in Milan..
Where the composer is being booed and hissed on and on
People thinking..relating..
Artists starving..creating
Hope ..never more than a thought away
Money...not worth the time of day
Utopia...swirling around ..steel rim glasses
Teachers..blowing passion into their classes

There was a time when our youth was lost
Seduced by Bukharin and Zhabotinsky
Instead of marijuana and ecstacy
Singing the Internationale with fire in their eyes
Instead of moving to 50 cent as the eye flicker dies

It would be nice to be criticized once in awhile for a shoddy poem on my Blog...too

Food Chain

2006-05-01T15:43:00.000-04:00

I’ve discovered that I’m part of a very disturbing food chain.

After another exhausting Chol Hamoed trip we were sitting and recounting details of our sojourn..
As usual there were disparaging remarks about Chassidim eating all over and being pushy etc..
Then during the meal on Yom Tov a conversation came up about how Chassidim cheat the government on taxes and they don’t work...etc..
I passionately hate these conversation and everyone knows it. I think that it's always wrong and unfair to stereotype.

I realized then that we’re all part of the insecurity food chain...

Whatever right wing Frum people say about Chassidim..
Modern Orthodox say about right wing Frum...
Whatever Modern Orthodox say about right wing Frum people
Non Orthodox say about all Orthodox
And whatever Non Orthodox say about Orthodox
Non-Jews say about Jews...

So next time you’re about to feel all superior by trampling on someone who is supposedly “superior than you”..
remember.
You’re just a small ring in the food chain and at this very moment some anti-semite is probably saying the same exact thing about you to his children.

The Dreaded Tag

2006-04-28T12:33:00.000-04:00

Accent: I have my own accent. Made it up myself...

Booze: Light Italian Wines

Chore I Hate: Anything that could wait till tomorrow....

Dogs: If I weren't frum..I'd probably own one..

Essential Electronics: My iPod!

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: On my wedding night..I almost threw up from the strong scent of my new wifes perfume and ran gasping to the window! (a moment I'll never live down)..lol
Light perfume is ok..I like Escada Magnetism...
For me? I like Polo for men..but I rarely wear it.

Gold/Silver: Types of metals..?

Hometown: 3 Guesses

Insomnia: Whats that?..if you've been reading my blogs you'd know I love to sleeeeep

Job Title: Depends what time of day (or night)..

Kids: More than 2 ..less than 6

Living Arrangements: Comfortable

Most Admired Trait: Being "Real"

Number of sexual partners: Define "sex"...lol

j/k..of course 1

Overnight Hospital Stays: Too many :-(

Phobia: Claustrophobia

Quote: "Gam Zeh Ya'avor (This too shall pass)"

Religion: Jewish (FFB)

Siblings: More than 1 Less than 5

Time I usually wake up: 5:45

Unusual Talent: I can imitate all the Sesame Street Characters..among others...

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Any cooked vegetables...Love em raw...

Worst Habit: Procrastination

X-Rays: Whattabout em?

Yummy Foods I make: Linguini...and a wicked cholent

Zodiac Sign: Private

Ok. I tag ayala, Brown Eyes and Eshet Chayil and The Mata Hari and Shopaholic of course

Time Warp

2006-04-25T15:58:00.000-04:00

This past week I spent Shabbos at my parents house.
I slept in my bed..the bed and room I grew up in
The last time I slept here was the night before my wedding

The whole Shabbos was like a trip to the past...
Davening in my old Shul...
The old boys...
Same handshakes
Same cologne
A little greyer

Lying in my boyhood bed..
Shabbos morning
On the bookshelves...those old paperback Sidney Sheldon novels
That fueled adolescent hormones
Still there..
My sisters yearbook with my earliest crushes..
My Fathers deep voice resonating through the house
Just as I recall it...
As he learns at the kitchen table..
My mothers delicious cholent..assaulting my remaining sense
My eyes open wide...
Staring at the abstract wallpaper
Finding the same shapes and figures..in the pattern
That I fondly recall
The elephant head...mountain range
Young girl...with uneven eyes...half smile...staring down at me
As if to say wow..where have you been?

I could’ve gotten up earlier but I was waiting
For that moment..when my father softly knocked on my door
And in his deep yet soft voice intoned..
David..it’s time for Shacharis...

I smiled up..at that young girls peculiar smile...

I was home..

Confession

2006-04-21T12:41:00.000-04:00

I love my Mother In Law

There..I've said it.

This is one of the reasons why it’s so important to remain anonymous here.
Men around the world will read this post and cringe.
They will write me and threaten me

Oh how the Mother In Law has been reviled, loathed and hated over the years. The butt of more jokes than lawyers.

But I have to admit after spending yet another Yom Tov at my in laws, I’ve been blessed with an extraordinary M.I.L.

What makes her a good shvigger?
She treats me like a prince.
She doesn't mix into my life.
She never talks to my wife about me.
She's great to my kids.
She's helpful and supportive of everything I do.

So, I’d just like to take this moment and thank my in laws for everything.

Anyone else out there secretly willing to admit that their in-laws are wonderful people?

The Four Freedoms

2006-04-08T22:38:00.000-04:00

Thank G-d we live in a time and place, enveloped by the four freedoms immortalized by Norman Rockwell in his famous series. Freedom from fear, Freedom from want, Freedom of Religion, Freedom of speech.
As Jews we have never lived in an atmosphere so permeated with the spirit of freedom.

This liberty gives us the opportunity to turn inward and gain true freedom.
The most profound freedom..flight
To connect and break free all at once ..to and from ourselves
Our bodies
Four elements
Earth
Fire
Wind
Water
The Earth that pulls us down..spiritual and physical laziness
The Fire that enflames our anger and misdirects our passions
The Wind that makes us haughty props us up in castles in the air
The Water that quenches our thirst for the forbidden

So my task at hand is to truly re-enact the Exodus.
How?
My soul..my Neshama which is Chelek Elokai MiMaal (a portion and piece of Hashem himself)
Will try to redeem my body from the elements weighing her down..
Just as Hashem redeemed our nation.

I will lift the Four cups..and proclaim

V’Hotzeisi..and he has removed me from the the earth ..so that it shall not bury me..
V’Goalti...and he has redeemed me from the winds that create illusions of gradeur..
V’Hitzalti...and he has saved me from the fires that consume..
V’Lokachti...and he has taken me out of the waters that threaten to drown me..

True Freedom is when you're truly in synch with every part of you and you fly...

I’d like to wish everyone a Chag Kosher V’Sameach and a wonderful Pesach.
You guys are the best!

Seder Connections

2006-04-05T13:19:00.000-04:00

My Father..sitting on my right..
My Grandfather on his right..
My son on my left..
Why is this night different?

My sons son is on his left
My grandfathers father on his right
And his father next to him

Exhiliration
Connection
Connected through the ages, the years
Conquering our doubts our smallness our fears
Drawing life from the past
Drawing strength from the future

Sandwiched between the light
Of The Exodus
Sinai on one side
And the light of the end of days
The world of perfection
On the other..

We , in the night
Have nothing but faith..
We, the sufferers
Consequence of fate
Spinning in a spiritual void
We suck from the vein..that passes through
This night
Hoping for a small glimpse of light
But
Perhaps these lights are drawing their power
Forging their connection
From us,
From our imperfection

And so we sing...
And so we sit like kings
Eating bitter herbs

Saving one matzah for midnight
One memory of this moment
Of faith
Of tears
Of this special blind love
To our love..above
And hide it away
And pray...
That it isn’t stolen away
By our children

Reb Yid...You are really really bad

2006-04-03T16:59:00.000-04:00

I was at a Bar Mitzvah in Brooklyn this past Shabbos and one of the Bar Mitzvah boys relatives is a self proclaimed Chazzen.
I'm sure you all have one of those in your family.
Well..this guy gets up and was horrible..
Now, I'm not talking about "in my opinion he was bad" I mean scientificaly provable bad.
Hitting notes that should be left in the attic locked away
Now, all the guests were groaning..rolling their eyes and mimicking him.
But...
As soon as Shacharis ended everyone went over and gave him a big Shkoyach!
So I'm sitting there scratching my head..and wondering.
How is this poor fellow supposed to know that he stinks?

Is it really a a good idea to pat the guy on the back 5 minutes after rolling your eyes at his Flat Flat D minors?
Is it better to let this guy think he's good when he gets ridiculed behind his back?
Or is it better to tell him once and for all YOU SUCK!

Hmm just thinking aloud..

Sticky Situation

2006-03-31T11:19:00.000-05:00

The familiar sounds of my fighting boys
What is it this time..is it books or toys?
Enough!..Stop! I plead (shout) in vain
As they wrestle around.. each one shrieking in pain

I come to inspect and lo and behold
For there in the midst of their stubborn stranglehold
Was a sticker from those new tzaddikim album books
So they stopped for a moment in lieu of my stern looks

How can you fight and bicker over such holy Rebbes?
What would they think
If they knew
How you’re fighting like babies..

Then I took a good look
At the face in the book
Of the rebbe ...whose name I won’t mention
The one that caused this massive altercation
I turned around and walked toward the door
As my argument, my logic...fell flat on the floor

How Patient...Life

2006-03-29T14:19:00.000-05:00

How patient you are...

Month after month
You hide away..
Hiding and storing away
Within you
Your secret..your essence

Winter frosts
Darkness
Snow
Wind
You wait so patient
As the lumbering earth
Finally turns you toward the sun
Toward the warmth..
Slowly...

First ..its a daffodil
Pushing up from below
Yellow blooms
Brilliant plumes
Of Forsythes
Tulip bulbs open..
And the code from within
Sends up a flower...on a stem
Delicate...perfect
Before long the world is bursting
How patiently you waited
For the conditions you needed

Human, you're the same
Its all inside you..
Turn toward the sun
For no matter how long
You’ve been frozen
Under the cold blanket
Of snow and ice
Its all there inside you
Waiting for the light...

How patient is Life

omg!

2006-03-26T19:39:00.000-05:00

Thou Shall Not Take The Lords Name In Vain
Can prove to be quite a pain
When talking or writing a blog all the same
We tiptoe around His Holy Name..

So instead of spelling out G-O-D
We acronymize with an OMG
Or other sorts of tricks from our trickster stash
Like replacing the o with a simple dash-

He who talketh with mouth we did not forget you
All hope is not lost..deify your lexicon too
My goodness...gracious..Bashefer..yo see
Those are all fine...now listen to me..

The most popular G-dly exclamation I find
Is ironic..as ironic gets.. it boggles the mind
Its proclaimed happily by the unassuming Jew
Have you guessed?..Its My Gosh ..I’m sure you did too

After all its the Jewish way of naming His Name
Without naming or shaming our tradition, How tame
My Gosh like Yoish..like Bashefer ...like that
That’s what you thought..now hold on to your hat

Did you know..? Would you suspect?...I suspect not
For how should you know..? Why would you think..crazy thought?
That this Gosh you’ve been saying..and here’s the sum of my post
Really stands for
GOd
Son
Holy ghost

Its MY world.....(you can stay if you'd like to..)

2006-03-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

A person is required to acknowledge every day Bishvili Nivra HaOlam.

The world was created for me.

What is the reason for this self-centered mantra?

Here’s my theory...
The following paragraph sounds wild but it’s actually from the Sefer .Leshem Shevo VeAchlama written by the Kabbalist Rav Shlomo Elyashiv (Rav Elyashovs Grandfather)
The true essence of God is impossible to comprehend nor approach.
God is how we perceive him. God is what he has chosem to reveal to us.
Through his attributes and actions. In other words God for all practical purposes is what we perceive of him.
Each person perceives God differently. Everyone is at their own level of understanding.
Therefore it can be said that every person has his or her own individual God in a very real sense. He continues by saying that when someone prays and is not in touch with God..does not relate to Hashem, is thinking about a an abstract idea of God he is engaging in a form of idol worship.
That is not YOUR God.
Someone that mimics a person on a higher level than he is worshiping another God. Not the same God but with a different understand..but an entirely other God.

Now. Bear with me...
The world is a top down world. Everything emanates from and exists in God. (see God is One).
If everyone has their own personal God then it must be that everyone has their own personal world.
The world as we know it is in essence billions of worlds overlapping. Just like on a computer network. Everyone exists on the same network and can communicate on any screen within the network each person still works on their own screen and exists in the network on their own personal computer.
So Beshvili Nivra Haolam is not some abstract Aggada but a very real reality.

It’s me and God ...he is my world I am his world.

Everyone else? They’re just extras..props. Just like on a movie set theres the main actor and all the extras that surround him to support him (or in real life challenge him).
If this is the case then the mitzvah of Judging people favorably takes on a new urgency. When you judge someone you are defining that person in your world!
Not only that but the way you judge others is how God sets the bar for your world when it comes time to reward or punish you.
That’s also why I might be a little opinionated. After all it’s my world I should formulate opinions on what’s going on in it.

The Puppeteer

2006-03-20T22:29:00.000-05:00

Every one settle down..Shhh
Bobby sit in the front..Next to Zaidie..
Uncles..aunts sit in this section
Kids settle down
Neighbors hide your glee..
Are we ready?

The Puppet Show..

(applause)

Music.

Curtains slide open

(applause)

A long ooooooh from the crowd..
As the cutest baby puppets
In the cutest baby outfits
Come dancing and cooing aloud

Ahh the look of pride on the puppeteers face

Now the music picks up pace..
As the puppets are now children
The audience claps to the rhythm
Strings yanking their arms
And legs and heads
Their frozen smiling faces

Clap Clap Clap
Oy look at how Zaidies face shines with joy

Hands reaching into bags of food
Munching ..eating..laughing
Ooh look at that puppet sing
And say over a vort
And the Mah Nishtana
What a good puppet..
Good puppet

Clap Clap Clap
Ahhh the look of pride on the puppeteers face..

The puppeteer with his silly fixed smirk
With silly confidence does he jerk
Those strings...those strings..
Pull...push...yank ...jerk
Another act
More food in the back
The adolescent puppets
Oy do they look handsome in their hats
Dance...dance...dance for us
Ha Ha

Rip...
GASP
The string rips with a snap
Whats that puppet doing???
Bring him back
AHHHHHHHH!
A look of horror spreads over the
Horrified audience
Running for the doors...
As the puppet...sprouts some hair
Voice deepens..
Comes loose...and the others too
Horror!
They’re Puppets!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Grab them!
HELP!!

The puppeteer shouts..
How dare you shame me!
How dare you embarrass me
You’re ruining my show!

Poor Puppeteer.
It was cute while it lasted.

Dial Denial

2006-03-17T14:54:00.000-05:00

I have a second car...
I have a single Brother-in-law in Yeshiva

Fill in the blanks.

We’ll call him Gedalya
Now because he’s “Yeshivish”
He doesn’t listen to the car radio
Only..that he does

It seems that lots of Yeshiva guys
Let their hair down in their cars
They allow themselves to wander to stations
That God forbid anyone should find out..

So...I’ve noticed a funny thing
With this Gedalya of mine..
He always tries to cover his tracks
By moving the dial to more innocent tracks
Just before returning the keys

However, as if to ease his guilt
there usually is some sort of correlation
A contrast of sorts...
between the “guilty” station and the “innocent” one.
For example if he’s been listening to
Sports Radio 66 then he’ll move it to News Radio 88
Lite FM 106.7 then he’ll move it to WQXR Classical Radio
Z100 All the latest Hits then he’ll move it to 107.9 Kol B’Rama Lakewood Jewish Music

So imagine my surprise yesterday when I turned on my car after he’d returned it and found a CD of R’ Matisyahu Salomon playing!

Gedalya..what the heck have you been listening to!???

Did you feel it too..?

2006-03-15T13:29:00.000-05:00

7:38 AM Shabbos morning
That’s when I felt it..

I feel it once a year and it lasts
Perhaps an hour or more

Those subtle pleasures
They’re truly the best

My eyes slowly opened
Early morning sunlight
Coloring the walls and ceiling
My eyes lazily watching the shadows
Cast by the slowly turning ceiling fan

The window was open
A cool/warm breeze was enveloping me
This breeze was of the sweetest nature
Sweet scent..sweet taste
The birds were out after months of silence
Chirping out the sweetest songs

While winter is great for what it’s worth
There’s this incredible feeling
That washes over me
When spring arrives

If it weren’t shabbos I would’ve had
Vivaldi’s Spring add the finishing touch.

It is a subtle pleasure
A subtle moment
The realization that spring, warmth, growth
Has at last arrived

And while I’ve only felt it
Some 20 odd years
I suspect I’ve had this feeling
In other forms....many times before

So while some may California Dream
And others to Miami stream..

I’ll keep my Four Seasons
For all the above reasons...

Who wanted to see a picture of me?

2006-03-15T10:43:00.000-05:00

BTW: Does anyone know of a way to convert wafer rolls into a dependable source of energy?

Happy Purim..!

2006-03-10T14:35:00.000-05:00

Happy Purim

From

all of us
at

Davids Blog

The Deal

2006-03-08T12:01:00.000-05:00

When I was 14 and drastic changes were wreaking havoc to my body.
The child I was...
was afraid to let go,
to disappear along with his peers.

So my... new adolescent evolving self made a deal then with the fading child...
I told him he could come along and join me...
as long as he doesn’t make a total fool of me.

I’m thankful that he stayed.

Now I never get bored
of watching an airplane take off...
of seeing the Empire State Building..
of riding an escalator..of observing fields..beaches...marching bands..
of blowing bubbles...
the thrill of a new friendship...
the comfort of a long hug....
riding trains...
and roughhousing with my own kids....

He’s been a good companion..and he’s loving blogland as well....

and yes..He's psyched for Purim..
:-)

Purim Confession

2006-03-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

I have a little confession to make.

I don’t like Purim much.
Since my teenage years it's been a day I dread
.
I’m just not a big drinker and not a good faker..

I used to hate having to go into peoples houses collecting in these silly uncomfortable costumes choking on cigarettes..pretending I’m geshmak only to have this rich smug fellow humiliate us..as he called down his Bubby..Zaidie..children in Pjamas to watch us entertain him so that we could receive his carefully signed check.

I can’t stand drunk people. I get queasy watching them..and can’t stand when they put their arm around me and pull my neck..screaming and crying their confessions in my ear with their horrible alcoholic and throw-up breath.

I got drunk once in my life on Purim and had a terrific headache (not to be confused with the one FDR had) and hangover for a year and half afterwards.

Then there’s the whole Mishloach Manos thing. This one gave us..so we have to give him...but they didn’t give us last year.... Uh oh look who’s coming up the driveway shoot we didn’t prepare anything for them..quickly rip the tag off of that one..Nooo not that one ..that one is from their sister in law..they’ll know what we did...shhh [smile] A Freilichen Purim....

What can I say...I just never found my place in Purim.

My best Purims were In Eretz Yisrael. They were quite spiritual and full of meaning.

However now that I have children..it’s fun watching them have a good time. I just dread the day they become old enough to want to drink and smoke.

Vertical Journeys...

2006-03-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

Its crowded..
nervous politeness...
coming..going...
ping
'excuse me...getting off'
'That’s my foot'..'sorry'..'its ok'..
Sneak a peek..pretty woman..rolls eyes..
ping
Looking up...at the numbers..
'Must be the local'...polite chuckle..
ping
'Room for one more?'...'sure'..inhale
She smiles back..and mouths 'thank u'
Its not so crowded anymore
ping
Stifle a cough..a sneeze..
Vibrate vibrate...whisper.'.i’m in an elevator I’ll call u back'
ping
Ummm we’re not moving..
unspoken panic registers in everyone’s eyes..
ok we’re moving again
Calm down
ping
'Getting off...excuse me'
Is this your floor too..?

An elevator is a microcosm of life. We form subliminal relationships..likes and dislikes..we try to live peacefully not to get in other peoples way..everyone just wants to get to the destination without incident..all condensed within a minutes time.

Anyone looking for a Shidduch..listen to me. An elevator is a great place to observe character traits.
Here are 5 distinct characters I’ve encountered..

Happy go lucky.
Almost always from out of NYC. Gets into the elevator with a big goofy smile and no matter what happens that smile is there. We can be stuck for days..he’ll be smiling..doling out friendly advice and saying things like...”Damn thing seems to be stuck..” with that ever present smile.

Normal.
Gets in..is polite. Lets people in and out before him. Stands straight..eyes looking around. He’s the one that usually makes the “This must be the local” quip.

Indifferent.
Expressionless. Staring straight ahead. I suspect he’s secretly terrified of elevators.

Selfish.
Always goes in first..always presses the Close Doors button 100 times so that no one else can get in and prolong his trip.. Everytime the elevator stops he makes these annoying tsk sounds.

Uber Selfish.
2 true stories..
1. Runs to the elevator..screaming..hold the door...hold the door...after he gets in ..someone else runs thru the lobby screaming ..hold the door..hold the door...but he frantically presses the Close Door button and the door shuts in the newcomers face
2. Elevator full of people..this guy is finishing his phone call. The cell..doesnt work in the elevator so he sticks his hand in the door and holds up the entire elevator until his call is over...when someone complains he puts his fingertips together and shakes his hand slowly in the classic Israeli way of silently saying “a little patience...” grrrr

ping
'Getting off...
Watch where you’re going...yeah you on the cellphone...that’s my foot you just stepped on..
Come to think of it..I have a shidduch for you....'

La La Land...

2006-02-28T20:23:00.000-05:00

It’s that time..
That perfect time..
When lights go off
One by one
And silence reigns

If it did not exist..
Men would invent this sensation
And men would pay a fortune
To savor her inebriation

But every human being
Has access to her bliss
Can enter it and be enveloped
In her celestial kiss

Its that time when day becomes a foggy dream
And dreams become reality..

We slip into a world..of mystery
And come out with nary a memory
An image..a scent...sights
Too fantastic to comprehend

Dancing elephants...streets carpeted green
Shadows...endless stairways...
Faces from beyond...another world
A mysterious smile...do I know her..?

I’ll never take it for granted
Every night a new ride..
A new adventure

I truly love my bed...my cocoon, my hideaway
I truly love the dreams...that take me far away...
That take me beyond the day.

Good night.

Lesson in Ahavas Yisrael...

2006-02-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

I'm reading a very interesting book entitled Pilgrimage of a Proselyte by David Patterson

It's the journey of a Methodist College Professer that converts to Judaism and embarks on a very emotional pilgrimage from Auschwitz to Jerusalem.

There was one passage that really moved me....because it's something I'm guilty of, often..

It's on page 118..where he's expressing his deep unconditional love for his newly adopted Jewish brothers and sisters...

"That love I feel even for the obnoxious, annoying God-love-them Israelis on the flight from Warsaw. We sat on the ground for twenty minutes before taking off because a single seat had been assigned to two different people. Yes, there were other seats available , but this one Israeli-a man decked out in jewelry and all, in the latest fashion-insisted on having his seat. After rearranging the positions of about eighteen people he finally got his wish.
Then, once we were in the air, he and the other two dozen Israelis were out of their places and pacing up and down the aisles. I don’t think he spent more than fifteen minutes of the 3 1/2 hour flight in the spot he insisted on having. And, as if that were not enough, when it came time to land he took another seat!
It all reminded me of a comment Rav Steinzaltz made to me two years ago, when I told him I was studying for conversion: 'The hardest thing about becoming a Jew,' he said, 'is the Jews.'
But when I see a Jew who is less than Jewish, it only reminds me of how far I fall short myself."

Profound words to live by...

The Greatest Moment of My Life

2006-02-23T15:43:00.000-05:00

Today is the 8th Anniversary of the best moment of my life.

My oldest child was born.

Only those with children can fully understand what I’m saying. And those who haven’t been blessed yet I pray with all my heart that you should experience this soon (if you want it..).

As the day progressed and the labor intensified I as the husband felt utterly hopeless and beside myself watching my wife writhing in pain.
Everything so surreal. Tired beyond belief. Nurses and Doctors rushing to and fro. Anxious husbands pacing the halls, another cup of coffee, another shrieking mother to be.
A look of extreme anxiety of hopelessness against the pain..the waves of pain that will just won’t stop, etched on my wifes face.
(Every year on Tisha B’Av when we say “Eili Tziyon VeOrayo K’mo Isha B’tzureya..” that image appears in my head....)

Then suddenly..the nurse announces matter of factly in hebrew..ok she’s ready to push...
The doctor comes in...lights go on...everyones donning scrubs..
I back away..not sure I’m wanted..
Everyones goading her to puuuush...just a little more...She’s straining..I swear she’s going to pop a vessel...in her head...
And then stop..take a deep breath..
Ok..puuuuuuush..
By now she’s beside herself...I’m a nervous wreck...
Oooooh we can see the head....he has black hair..Eizeh Motek...
Ok...I’m going to need you to push really hard now...take a deep breathe..
Puuuuuuuuuuuushhhh
Od me’at..just a little more..

And then..

The moment...

Life

A baby..

A boy

A real live baby..my flesh and blood...so small..crying...oh my goodness..that was INSIDE her?

Tears..just unimaginable joy...
My baby...

Less than 2 years removed from being a bochur..I’m suddenly holding my child.
It was an overwhelming moment.

Later that night I hopped into a cab. Sitting by the window watching the world go by as if nothing just happened. As if this most incredible miracle never occurred.
Hello! I had a baby! My wife just had a live human being crawl out of her!
It’s too much.
As I dozed off a feeling washed over me.
I’ll never forget that feeling..it’s a feeling I’d never experienced not before and not since.
A feeling of bliss..of accomplishment in a very basic, primal way. I have produced an offspring. I remember thinking..ok God ..you can take me now, I’ve brought another generation down to this world. And I drifted off into a deep sleep...

Only to be awakened by my cabbie gently shaking me.
Slicha..Sanhedriya HaMurchevet?..
Shloshim Shekel.
Mazal Tov

Can anyone else point to one single greatest moment in their life?

The Squirrel and The Rat

2006-02-21T10:40:00.000-05:00

A Tale of two critters..
Two cousins
Two rodents
One loved..watched..fed
The other loathed..feared..killed
Same basic anatomy
One has large eyes..slim figure..bushy tail
The other..beady eyes..fat figure...slimy tail
They both survive
They both thrive
One scampers in yards..up trees..through the park
The other in sewers..and subway tunnels in the dark
One is fed the fruit of the earth
The other feeds off the refuse of earth

Look around..you’ll see squirrels and rats
All around..
Your neighbors..colleagues...family
We feed off love..self worth and esteem
Its what keeps us alive
Wherever we find it..in order to survive

So next time you’re about to label someone
A child
Tell him he’s not smart..not good looking...not like his siblings
Tel her she’s not pretty..not skinny...has no friends

Remember
They’ll survive
They’ll even thrive

Not as a squirrel
But perhaps as a rat...

Got a problem with that?

One more step...

2006-02-19T00:40:00.000-05:00

I walked to a Shalom Zachor this Friday night. It was 20 minutes away and for those of you in the New York Metropolitan area..you know how freakin cold it was.
Me..being the old soul that I am..trasported myself into another era.
Here's a peek into my mind 12 minutes into the return walk.
Cursing myself for not having worn my really warm winter coat I was literally shaking in my skin.
I was walking into the wind and after every gust my ears burned a little more my forehead became a little more numb and the chill went right down to my bones.
One step at a time.
Then I began to wonder.
My grandmother went on a forced death march in Poland for 2 months during the fierce Eastern European winter.
For 2 months!
How did they do it?
Can anyone explain this to me?
Were they not human?
Were they made of something other than bones flesh and skin?
Day after day. Wearing coats thinner than mine. Tattered rages instead of shoes.Step by step...Day... night... day..freezing cold..snow..wind..ice.
If suddenly instead of my block in sight a few blocks ahead, I were to be forced to walk for another 2 months... It'’s too much to comprehend.
We're not talking about some hero, or someone out of a legend. We're talking about my Bubby!
Would something physically happen to me to help me survive? Or would my will to survive be strong enough to take the biting cold for another..not 5 minutes but 6 weeks.
To me it's mind boggling..
Minute 18.
I'm so desperate to be indoors already my mind ceases to think anymore..I can see my house..another step...another step...survive...
Minute 20.
Thank God I'm home.
Warm and toasty home. 2006.

Suddenly it's all abstract to me again. I’m no longer desperate to know how she did it.

Observations at a Bris..

2006-02-15T11:04:00.000-05:00

I’m a little late today, in case anyone noticed.
I just came from a Bris..Circumsion Circumstances, I suppose.

...and I have a few observations I’d love to share.

Can anyone explain to me why some people enjoy watching a bris? I mean, there must’ve been 20 guys craning their neck to watch an 8 day olds baby have his penis sliced. Do you see any entertainment value in that? I just don’t get it. Anyone standing there with their eyes glued should automatically be placed on a watch list of some sort.

Then it comes time for the name. Here’s something I’ve noticed for quite some time now..this fascination with knowing the name. Even absolute strangers..join in this strange chorus..what’s the name?..what’s the name? Never mind that this babies 5 brothers are standing right there and you could not care less what their names are. When does the desire to “know the name” end?
I’m guessing at around 1 month when it is then replaced by the “who does he look like?” fascination. This continues until about 18 months when suddenly everyone forgets about this kid and starts to wonder when the next one is on the way and what “the name” will be.

There is one important lesson I did learn. How easy it is to do a real chessed. I was debating whether or not to go and decided last minute to go and come a little late to work. The Baal Simcha (the father..lol) was so happy to see me..it caught me a little off guard. Especially at a weekday Bris so much preparation goes in and quite often so few people show up. It can really make a tremendous difference whether or not another person shows up. It made me feel real good.
:-)

Star Struck

2006-02-11T20:30:00.000-05:00

The other day I’m sitting in a waiting room idly flipping through a Town and Country magazine. After reading about all the latest fund raising parties, admiring the beautiful homes and some pretty glamorous women I turned to the Horoscope. I’ve never in my life read a Horoscope and I’m still not sure what it’s all about.
So..I turn to my sign, I start reading..and I turn white.
This Horoscope seems to know everything about me and everything that’s going on in my life!
I could not believe it.
It described my character perfectly.
Those in my sign are artistic and creative and unorganized...ok..I’ll stop there..

No..I’m not going to start basing life decisions on Astrology.
There is definitely something to this. These weeks Parashios are full of stargazers and Astrologists. However I’m a firm believer in Tomim Tihyeh im Hashem Elokecha.
I don’t like woodgie woodgie stuff. I refuse to wear a red bendel on my hand and I don’t like going to Mekubalim and Ayin Horah experts..etc..

I do have to say I was thoroughly spooked and I do not intend on ever peeking into that forboding section again.

Instead of stargazing I’ll stick to gazing at stars in the front of the magazine.

Etched in ..skin

2006-02-08T17:13:00.000-05:00

I haven’t moved or twitched my face muscles for 24 hours now so I’m feeling a little like a zombie.

You see.. yesterday as I was shaving something very disturbing came into my focus. I suddenly could make out very faint lines across my forehead and one between my eyes. Could it be..wrinkles?
Now, I’m not a vain person at all. The only time I glance in the mirror is for my morning shave and grooming. So what’s the big deal?
I’ll tell you what the big deal is.
I’ve begun to notice how the spiritual really mirrors the physical world and in this respect especially so.
When a baby is born..through childhood ..developing, sure they have some inclinations and characteristics they’re born with but it’s easy for them to change to be goaded into bettering themselves and changing their habits. They’re faces are smooth. Nothing permanent is registered.
As you grow older, it becomes increasingly more difficult to change your character and characteristics. Your personality becomes etched in your face, it becomes an indelible part of you. You can look at an old man and get an idea if he’s easy going or grumpy, angry or happy.
At that point it is almost impossible to change your ways. Most people go to their deathbeds with the same Middos that took them there even with death staring them in the face.

And so this is not a moment of vanity..

I’m just not ready to concede my personality yet.
I’m not ready to etch my likeness in flesh....

Global Warming..?

2006-02-02T16:28:00.000-05:00

Ok. After 3 months of balmy winter weather I'm starting to think there might be something to this Global Warming talk.

Is the ozone layer shrinking?
Are ice caps melting?
Is the water level rising?

I have no clue. I'm not a scientist. However I spent Sunday at the park in 60 degree weather on the last week of January!

Am I going to one day reminisce before my grandkids about how it used to snow in these parts..years ago?

But on the other hand..whenever I hear the weather report they always add..
This is the warmest winter since 1952

and so I wonder..did they fret about Global Warming back in 1952 as well?

i, Magnified

2006-01-31T22:21:00.000-05:00

I remember hearing from a smart man many years ago that the reason teenagers cannot wait to get behind the wheel of a car is that a car “iz a groisser ich” the car becomes a “Big Me”.
It’s me, magnified.
When you get behind the wheel, suddenly you’re no longer that scrawny teenager fighting for attention. You’re just like everyone else on the road.
When one observes the world around it becomes obvious.
Jaguar has a new ad campaign called Gorgeous. It insinuates that if you drive a Jag then the car will represent you. You’ll be gorgeous, you’ll be desired, you’ll get all the girls. It talks to the heart of the mid-age crisis person who feels he’ll get a new lease on life, on fun, on desirability by donning a new skin made of steel.

Sometimes I see some of my fellow Frum people who will never be considered cool in the gentile world because of their obvious physical limitations. So they’ll got a Hummer or a Big SUV to represent the Me they so wish they could be.
After all while you’re sitting in your car, you’re equal to anyone else. You can cut people off just like the next guy can.

Soul comes down to this world
..dons clothes of flesh
..dons clothes of cloth
..dons clothes of steel.
But ultimately they all clothe the Soul.

Well, I’ll let you guys guess what I drive.

Monsters in our midst

2006-01-26T20:39:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: This post claims disturbing and explicit topics.

None of the tales are based on rumors. When I lived in Brooklyn a few years ago I got involved in an organization and I know these stories firsthand.

They look like anyone else..Yeshivish, Chassidish, Modern Orthodox. They are laymen, lawyers, neighbors, uncles, Rebbes and Fathers.

They are Monsters.

I am referring to Adults that molest girls under the age of 18. They fondle babysitters, seduce nieces, and rape daughters and it happens often.
And they get away with it EVERY TIME.
Could you imagine the guy sitting next to you in shul Raping his frightened 9 year old daughter every night? It happens..you just don’t know about it.
It is a horrific stain on our community and it’s about time something was done about it.
I am not a Posek but there must be times when it is permitted to call the police on one of our own. Let’s say there was a frum serial killer in Boro Park would it be wrong to call the police? These monsters are worse than murderers. Here is a snapshot of the damage they do..to the innocent victims.

Their victims are likely to to act out sexually themselves

They suffer their whole lives and most of them will attempt suicide at least once.

Their marriages always suffer (if they survive) and they never trust men again.

And yes the victims are innocent.
One of the molesters favorite defence is she wanted it. A young girl does not know what she wants. Even if her body reacts..that does not mean she wants it. Just like when you tickle someone they laugh. That doesn't mean they're happy.
How is it that in the “goyish” world if someone molests a minor they will end up in jail and away from children, while in our community they are free to continue?
How is it that we’re so concerned with the Internet and porn that our children might be exposed to when we have REAL LIVE perverts exposing REAL LIVE sex to minors and we do nothing about it?

And if Halacha would call me a Moser..I’ll be happy to walk through the gates of hell if it’ll save the life of one more little girl or boy.

Wanderlust!

2006-01-25T10:52:00.000-05:00

It’s something you’re born with.

Something lurking deep inside your conscience.
It drives you, fuels you and takes you places.
I’ve always known I have it. During my teenage years I’d hop on a plane, train or boat and explore. Explore places, cultures and people. Connect with the past, with ancient tales and magical experiences.
Rome, Paris, Moscow, China, Egypt, Israel, Jordan, Venice, Spain .....
ahhh was it me that was wandering those places with nary a worry in the world (except for where I was going to spend the night)?

I definitely have Wanderlust. My heart beats for excitement, for a moment in time and for a dash of danger. My senses are sensitive to History and Beauty. My ears hungry for a new language and music beat. My eyes hungry for a scenic valley, an ancient castle and bright primal colors.

That was then.
Every once in awhile I’ll pull out an album and reminisce. But it’s difficult to bring the senses back to that donkey ride through the hot desert. It’s impossible to smell the cacophony of scents in the marketplaces. With kids and a wife whose idea of vacation is a nice hotel room, I’ve adjusted to the mundane. But it’s never far from the surface. It’ll always be a part of me and I’ll always cherish those days when I explored the world.

Frumkeit..or Frumism – Religion or Culture?

2006-01-21T21:40:00.000-05:00

There is this great misconception about our society. This misconception is both false and harmful and it has led many off the derech.
Have you ever asked yourself ...How can a frum person do that? How can a frum person behave that way?
Then you are under this false impression as well.

Frumism (anyone else have a better term?) is not a religion.. it’s a culture.
It is a culture that incubates a religion.
We dress a certain way, we listen to our own music, we have our own lingo, and we teach a certain lifestyle but we can’t force thousands of people to think a certain way and to believe in certain things.
Religion is strictly between God and the individual.

It just so happens to be..that of all the cultures in the world, it’s easiest to practice Frum Judaism in this Frum culture.

After all, they share so many similarities. This culture has you going to shul anyhow ...and it has you refraining from work on Shabbos.

But ultimately it’s up to all individuals to decide whether or not they choose to do so. Sometimes a person will go through the motions and go daven for an entire year and will only have kavannah once or twice. There’s the example of how the culture is an incubator for the religion. In order for our religion to survive in America a Culture had to be created to surround it. To keep us going through the motions during our weak moments and generational lapses.

However our Education System does not focus enough on the individual, on every persons relationship with Hashem as an individual..and instead it allows us a glimpse of Hashem through the prism of the community. This is something that I believe should change..

If one realizes this he will not become disoriented by “Frum” Jews not utilizing their personal choice of tapping in to the Religion within.

A walk through Midtown..with my iPod

2006-01-17T10:13:00.000-05:00

Walking through Times Sq.
Hustling and bustling
Dazzling display of neon light
Flock of pigeons takes flight
Chestnuts roasting..breezy caress
All the worlds a Concert Place..
Perfectly choreographed
Dancing ..swaying
To the strains of Dvoraks New World..
Is that a baton waving in my direction..?
Never mind..
It’s the middle finger
of some babbling cabbie
Defending his yellow box seat

Picking up the tempo a tad
Track 2
EQ
All is good again..
Ahh The Beatles.
Accompanying..this grand cast
All the lonely people..
And yellow submarines..
Swarming..moving..
Blending.. grooving..
I’m sorry..did I bump you with my bag?
The look in your eyes..
Your jawing angry mouth
Sends me one feed..
But all I hear is
Love is all you really need...

How The Computer Helped Me Comprehend Our World - Part II

2006-01-15T22:05:00.000-05:00

If one truly internalizes the above mentioned analogy then many things become clear..
For instance. The Gemara says..whoever says that Yehuda (referring to the story of Yehuda and Tamar) sinned is mistaken. If this is the case so why bring down the story in a manner that portrays him in a vulgar light?
The answer is.. What “actually” took place..we have no idea...but whatever Yehuda did according to his spiritual level ..caused the same cosmic effect as if he’d done it with all the vulgarity described in the narrative. Just like the Torah says Einei Hashem..when Hashem has no eyes..The Torah narrates the story in this fashion because it happened this way..just not the way we think it did.
That’s what the Gemara says ..whoever (one of us) says Yehuda sinned..(using our imagination and playing out the scenes the way we can grasp it) is mistaken. Sure the final outcome and the effect was the same, the document was opened but it wasn’t caused by double clicking the icon..instead it was achieved through writing code.

This is why the much talked about “contradiction” between Torah and Science regarding creation to me is a no starter because science is discussing the screen..and the pixels..and the Torah is discussing the chip. The Torah is not a science book just like it’s not a History book and is not interested in recording historical dates and science that is irrelevant to the spiritual growth of the Jewish people. Chazal is even bothered by the fact that the Torah doesn’t just start from the First Mitzvah.
Whatever happened during Creation..Hashem wants us to understand it as happening in 6 days. Whether it’s six days the way we experience six days is irrelevant. Our day of 24 hours is how we’re used to knowing the concept of Day. It is the only way our mind comprehends it in our Graphic User Interface (the screen). What’s the difference if you open the file by double clicking the icon or by pressing control O or by typing in code using DOS? It’s all the same thing.

How the Computer helped me comprehend Our World. - Part I

2006-01-12T10:17:00.000-05:00

A few months ago I had a revelation. I was fixing my computer and had the chance to peek into the labyrinth of chips and wires that inhabit the innards of the machine. It was then that it hit me..the computer is a perfect microcosm of the world. For this alone, I believe, the computer was worth inventing (and for posting it on the blog ..of course).
This world and all that inhabit it are like the screen. The world is the arena of action, this is where we can work within the dimensions of time of and space..but nothing is really happening here. While our “Chomer” (matter) is here in this universe everything is happening on an entirely different plane. This other world is so close..its not a geographical place it’s a heartbeat away.
The computer is exactly the same thing. Nothing is happening on the screen, even though that’s our field of action and that’s all we’ll ever know. But, in reality nothing is happening on the screen. It’s just a manifestation of what’s happening inside the chip. It’s just that we cannot go into a chip and work there so we have a screen which has the dimension of space to operate in.
The Torah and Judaism is mainly interested in this hidden world and it's manifestation in this world.
For instance Chazal say “Whoever embarrasses another person it’s as if he killed them”. They weren’t just saying that to dramatize the act of embarrassing someone. They meant it quite literally. Just like there are many ways of accomplishing tasks in the chip of a computer through different actions on the screen (ie. You can open a file by double clicking on the icon..or by typing in code that will do it) there are different ways of accomplishing the act of murder (or the cosmic impression that murder causes) in the metaphysical world, one of them is by embarrassing the victim. (However there are different levels and degrees of this..so obviously a person won’t get the same punishment).
Another example. The Torah sometimes speaks of Hashems attributes allegorically, like Einei Hashem (the eyes of God) or Yad Hashem (the hand of God), although of course we cannot envision Hashem with any of these actual blood and flesh body parts..it’s more than just allegory. However eyes and hands manifest themselves in other worlds, manifestations, that’s what Hashem is accomplishing in those circumstances.

Honor Hashem with your Voice...

2006-01-09T22:21:00.000-05:00

We had a big kiddush in our Shul this past week. One of the relatives of the Baal Simcha is a Chazzen of some sorts and was asked to daven Shacharis.
As soon as he started..Shoikhen Ad..in his beautiful voice half the place groaned their dissapproval.
There's nothing I like more than a nice Ba'al Tefillah.
As I was listening and enjoying I thought of a Vort..The Gemara says Kabeid es Hashem B'Gronkha Honor Hashem with your Voice. Garon is Voice.. G'R'N is Guf (body) Ruach (spirit) Neshama (soul). A beautiful voice has the power to move you..to inspire.
But I'm part of a shrinking breed it seems.

If I were to take a poll in most shteeblich."Would you rather have a terrible chazzen...or a beautiful chazzen and finish 10 minutes later?" I'm sure the quicker.. tone deaf guy would win in a landslide.

Come to think of it.. Hashem can abolish heaven and hell. All he has to do is have a chazzen get up and shlep. For those that enjoy it..it's heaven..and for most others it's pure hell.

Why is that?

If you travel to Europe (and ignore the Anti-Semitism) you will see such magnificant Shuls..from Vienna to Florence from Moscow to Rome. Contrast this to the chop-plop* design and architecture of the modern shul and shteeble. What happened to this appreciation..of glorifying Hashem through beauty?
Is there a strain here?...
Are they connected?

* anyone with a good translation?

Nittel Nacht

2006-01-06T10:25:00.000-05:00

Tonight is Nittel.

Nittel is the night of Christmas according to the Eastern Orthodox Churches, January 6th, and has traditionally been a night that has been marked by Jews through the popular custom of Not Learning. This has mistakenly been thought of as a Chassidic custom but in truth it precedes Chassidism.

There are many kabbalistic reasons given that have to do with the winter solstice and the birth of Jesus, that give this night a dark element.

I want to focus on the practical reason given. It was simply too dangerous for Jews to be out on Christmas, therefore public learning was abolished. Therefore I'd like to reflect on how truly lucky we are in America. We cannot understand the level of fear in those days. My Grandparent tell me stories of how after the Priest would give his Midnight Mass...you had to to barricade your doors, as the masses would be out in a frenzy seeking revenge from the Jews.

If you ever want to feel a small measure of how lucky we are...jump onto a flight to any Central/Eastern European city in full Jewish garb. Walk down the main streets of Berlin, Warsaw, Vilna in your hat and jacket...see how they stare..laugh...watch the contempt on the faces. I've been there and felt it.

Just last week my wife was complaining at how she can't take all the noise our neighbors make, playing music shabbos afternoon..etc. All I could think was..I'll take this over a pogrom ..any day.

Now I have to go find something to read tonight :-)

Lipa's new album...

2006-01-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

I just spent the last week or so in the car shuttling from one party to another and I got the opportunity to listen to Lipa Schmeltzers new album BliAinHora.
First of all I have to say he is definitely talented and he deserves alot of credit for "thinking outside the box". The box of course is the music that Jewish music has been stuck to for the past 20 years. The predictable strings, brass, drums coming after the first time singing the low part of a slow song, electric guitar intro (before the strings) to satisfy our craving for "taboo" rock n roll.

However Lipa to me is like a kid in a candy shop...with all these "goyish" music styles before him..jazz..technorock...broadway rock..etc.
Listening to the CD reminds me of driving through Las Vegas..passing by New York, Venice and Paris (the hotels). Sure it's impressive and nice..but it's far removed from the real thing.

Luck for him..most of his listening audience is in the same candy shop....hungry...

Chanukah..short lived reprieve

2006-01-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I watched Oliver Stone's Alexander. The movie starring Colin Farrel was not that great but I thought the battle scenes were magnificant.
We're so used to reading and mentioning the Chanukah miracle in passing, a sort of G rated version of events. But if one studies the History of the Chashmonoim ..one finds a dramatically different picture. The bloody battles of those times (elephants and all) left thousands of Jews dead in the most greusome fashion.
After the miracle..the Jews lived in peace for just a few years before a long succession of Hellenized and corrupt Chashmonai Kings ascended the thrones. Many, like Antygonys, had tens of thousands of Chachomim killed in horrific bloodbaths.

And yet we see the power of a miracle...a moment of time when some light shone through the darkness.

A moment of short lived hope that lasts until today.

May the spirit of Chanukah always give us hope.

Chassidim and Misnagdim on Chanukah

2005-12-29T22:01:00.000-05:00

The gap between Chassidim and Misnagdim is rapidly closing.
Litvishe Yeshivos already sing and say Kabbolas Shabbos
Chassidishe Yeshivos have adopted the Litvishe way of learning
Litvishe Roshei Yeshivos quote from Chassidishe sources
Chassidishe Rebbes quote the Vilna Gaon..

There is however one time a year when the contrast is highlighted and that's on Chanukah.
It's two entirely different events.
Chassidim spend a long time preparing the Menorah..spend a long time after lighting sitting by the candles.
Litvaks..say the brocho light it..sing Maoz Tzur..and leave
Chassidim are standing in the Beis Hamikdosh...bringing down the Ohr Hagonuz and the light of Moshiach
Litvaks are being MeKayem the Mitzvah MiDeRabonnon of Hadlokas Ner Chanuka..

Perhaps we'll have to wait awhile for the gap to close on Chanukah too.

Lost in the past and future

2005-12-27T11:18:00.000-05:00

Lying on the grass on a warm spring night
Sky so black
Stars so bright
gazing up..
losing myself
Distance..
Time..
Barriers no more...
The lights I see are from years past
The lights I see from millions of miles away
Everything meets in a gaze..
My gaze

Sitting by my Menorah in the darkened room
Sky so black
Flames so bright
losing myself
Distance..
Time..
Barriers no more..

These lights are from years past
and glorious days to come

These lights are from thousands of miles away

Everything comes together in my gaze..
Everything comes together..

On Chanukah

PhotoKommandant

2005-12-26T10:42:00.000-05:00

Ok. We kicked off the Chanukah Party circuit with a huge family party last night.
Among the colorful regulars is our very own Photo Kommandant.
I pay homage to her..

She's my aunt..
Usually so sweet..
But whenever we get together
more than 20 family members gathered
She goes on an intense mission.
Her metamorphasis has to be seen to be believed

It usually happens when everyone is finally settled and happy
The men have washed..and squished into their seats
the women are settling into their distracted conversations
the kids are finally getting along...
suddenly her voice..usually so sweet
takes on a shrill color as she yells "Pictures!"
"Everyone into the next room for pictures!"
Her focus is unnatural as she herds us
into a semblance of unorder and chaotic composition
breaking up families..tearing screaming children apart
the sound reaches a crescendo....but her voice is heard
above all others loud and clear.."OK EVERYONE LOOK AT ME"..
"yanky...sruli..esti..hindy..over here...get that out of your mouth..
whats your name?....OVER HERE..ok One more...Look AGAIN
One more...OK...That's it"
Somehow after that...we can never get back into that somewhat peaceful state we were in.
I'm already looking for my kids coats buried under 45 other similar looking coats that once inhabited that rack that once stood here.

Yet still I pay homage to you..
for....after all is shouted and done
It is your masterpiece that is proudly displayed
on my mantle year after year..

Thank you.

Chanukah with Zaidie....

2005-12-24T23:54:00.000-05:00

I vividly remember Chanukah at my Grandfathers house. As a child I’d go there for a few nights a year as he lived close by.
It was a huge event. He would first sit down and prepare the Menorah fill the cups with golden olive oil. Then he’d pick out a piece of cotton from a box of cotton and roll it between his palms with a quiet tune on his lips lovingly forming the wicks. As we watched he’d place the thick cotton wicks in the oil.
The he’d put on his hat and gartel and go wash his hands.
By the time he was back the cotton wicks were saturated with oil. He then said the L’shem Yichud in a low voice and a lot of kavanah. He lit the shammes candle and with his eyes closed he’d make the brocho slowly and loudly with his heavy Polish accent..Burich Atu Hashem Eloikaini Meiloech Huoilum Asher Kidishuni B’mitzvoisov V’tzeevuni l’hadlik neir Chaniku....etc..
Then he’d slowly light each candle and sit down before the blazing Menora.
I’d peer into face ..his radiant face.. the orange flickering flames reflected in its lines.. I’d wonder and I still do.. what is he thinking?
These same twinkling blue eyes once celebrated Chanukah in a small Polish Village with his adorable lost siblings, the same eyes witnessed secret Chanukah lights in the freezing cold Bergen Belsen barracks. So many years, such a Jewish experience. He’d sing such beautiful haunting tunes as only that generation can.
After sitting for an hour or so, he'd reluctantly rise and walk away the same way one leaves a loved one to embark on a long journey.
He is my Zaidie and through him I can taste a bit of Chanukah.

The other day I walked into a store and for a moment was thinking of buying those snap-off ready made Chanukah glasses, instead I continued on and bought a box of cotton....

Chanukah Party..to do list..

2005-12-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

While the women are busy cooking, making salads and latkes there is plenty for us guys to do to prepare for the coming barrage of parties.
It’s deja vu all over again. It seems every year, you end up sitting next to the same cousins, talking about the same things, which makes the preparation a lot easier.
Here’s my list..of things to do.
1. Getting my finances in order and getting a full report of profit/loss of this past year for my "inquisitive" cousins from Boro Park.

2.Reading up on the latest sports scores, trades and opinions for my cousins from The Five Towns.

3.Start paying more attention during my shiurim so that when my Yeshivishe Lakewood uncles want to know what I’m learning I’ll be able to answer something that sounds somewhat intelligent.

4.Buy a new cellphone so that halfway through the party when everyone around me starts pulling out and comparing their assortment of gadgets I don’t look like a caveman.

I admit, I’m not a big socialite and I’m amazed at how I can be talking to the cousin that I once used to be so close to, and used to sleep over by, wrestle with, and suddenly I feel so awkward with, as if I’m on a first interview for a job.

I do think the party is necessary and important. Even if it means sitting through the annual Grandpa speech while breathlessly awaiting our gelt allotment. Family is our blood. It’s sad when families drift apart. I think it’s important for a child that his life be put into a frame, a context.
So time to put myself through the inevitable embarrassing situations and questions (Me: “oh my, Yossi has grown so much since last years party..” Cousin Leah: “Yossi wasn’t at the party last year”) and to bond with family (and enjoy the latkes, while I'm at it).

Ooops wrong blog..

2005-12-21T13:49:00.000-05:00

On Strike..

2005-12-20T22:51:00.000-05:00

I've decided to go on a one day strike to show solidarity with the 33,000 Transit workers that only get paid between $47,000 and $55,000( and have been promised a 10% raise within the next 3 years) and get to retire at 55 with a full pension.
I think their human rights are being violated in the worst possible way. I can relate to them since no one had ever paid me that much before I went out and started my own firm.
To my 7 million readers..find another blog for the next day or so...

In a perfect world....

2005-12-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

After observing and listening and experiencing the complaints married people have about each other I’ve come to an elementary solution.
It seems the answer to most complaints my wife and other spouses have is..I’m just too exhausted!
I don’t know about you but at 11:00 when we both finally stop and catch our breath all I want to do is conk..conk in a very big way.
So I think the work day should be rearranged.
The day should start earlier. After spending the morning with your kids you send them off to school at about 10:00AM. Then you spend the best hours of the day with your spouse when you have energy..when you’re in a good mood. Why should your secretary see that smiling, energetic, charming side of you?
Then after an early supper we get into our cars, trains and busses and go to work at about 4:00PM.
You’ll have a seven hour workday from 4PM to 11:00PM or whenever you conk at your desk.
Let your boss complain that you’re falling asleep on him.
Let your secretary whine about the lack of attention your giving her....

Ahhh in a perfect world...

Shabbos Nap Blues

2005-12-17T23:59:00.000-05:00

The Shabbos nap is a very Jewish phenomena. What other Cultural/Religious group in the US just stops the world in its tracks and takes a nap?
The Shabbos nap is like a 3 day Yom Tov packed into 2-3 hours. You enter feeling good..you come out feeling down, itchy, tired, suffering from heartburn and just blah.
The only way of describing it is..take a glass bottle ..stuff in bread, matjas and shmaltz herring, a few shots of scotch, chopped liver, eggs with lots of onions, ptcha, hot chulent (beans, barley, meat, kishke) and kugel...seal the bottle and store it in a hot, dark, damp place for a few hours.
For awhile I’ve been toying with the idea of skipping this black hole in Shabbos..but the temptation is just too great.
However, after much observation and experimenting I’ve come up with a few tips to taking the blues out of the Zzzs.
1.Room temperature. The temperature should be a drop cooler than what you usually keep it at. If you wake up in a stuffy room..yuck. If you wake up in a room that’s too cold you’ll be too dependant on your cover and chances are you’ll be shvitzing a little, under the down cocoon.
2.Limit your nap to 1 1/2 hours. If you sleep for less than an hour you’ll just feel rotten and if you sleep for more than 2-3 hours you’ll feel even worse.
3.Have natural light coming into your room. The only thing worse than waking up to a stuffy room is waking up to dark stuffy room.
4.Don’t linger in bed too long. Get up..open a window..wash your hands and face..and then unlock your door so your kids can come piling in (for those of us with kids).

After all is said and done there is a strong Jewish tradition for the Shabbos nap. The AriZal mentions that he would be zoche to visit gan eden during his shabbos naps. He must’ve followed these guidelines because it sure can be hell....

DISCLAIMER: Picture above is not me.

Yantchie finds a Shidduch!....

2005-12-16T13:48:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a joke can be so on the mark and such a reflection of truth that it straddles the fence between joke and parable.

There was once a older bochur in Vilna, we’ll call him Yantchie. Like most Yeshiva bochurim 100 years ago he had a very hard time with a Shidduch. No girl wanted to marry a boy sitting and learning, so most boys in yeshiva ended up single into their 30s.

Back to Yantchie...
He was sitting and learning in Shul by himself one morning when the door creaks open and in shuffles the local Shadchan Beryk. Beryk sits down next to Yantchie and with a glint in his eye bellows out the often heard and caricatured line...”Yantchie, have I got a shidduch for you.”

Yantchie wearily turns to Beryk and fully expecting to hear of another blind, elderly or intern prospect mutters ..”nu..”

Beryk pauses for dramatic effect and replies “Anastasia, the Czars daughter”.

Yantchie grabs Beryks lapel an shouts timidly, “have you come here to torment me?”
“Leave me alone..please. I’m really not in the joking mood..”

Beryk turns to him in all seriousness and sounding a bit hurt says “I’m not joking Yantchie”.
“I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and it’s perfect.”

“But she’s not even Jewish”, an exasperated Yantchie spit out.
“Ahhh I know..but I know through back channels that she has a strong affinity to Judaism and she would be willing to convert.”
“And....”,he quickly added anticipating Yantchies next question, “she is a champion of the poor and oppressed I think she’ll be able to relate to you perfectly, as a matter of fact I think she’ll be very attracted to you.”
Yantchies face soften a bit, “I don’t know, it just sounds so crazy..”
Beryk moves in closer “I’ve never felt this strongly about a shidduch before..just imagine how happy you’ll be. Her teachers, her tutors, all that know her are crazy about her”.
Yantchies face registered a flicker of excitement as he asked..”so nu...what are we waiting for?”
Beryk leaned back and stared ahead and whispered, “we just have to get the Czar to agree..”

I love this little tale.
I few weeks ago I was about to conclude a huge deal. In my mind it was perfect, I knew exactly what I was going to do with the money...and was on cloud 9. I had it all figured out. Well, except one thing, I didn’t get the “Czar” to agree.

How often do we feel like that? In reality we’re like poor Yantchie, who is so not in control of his shidduch that’s it’s a joke.

We work so hard on our end but we don’t really do anything. I find that to be a humbling and comforting thought.

What's that on my ear?..goodness I've been tagged

2005-12-14T22:36:00.000-05:00

FrumGirl and Eshet thanks for tagging me...

Here are 5 simple pleasures that popped into my head. I typed them without going back to change any. My definition of a simple pleasure is a pleasure obtained without much cost or exertion..

That moment when the book slips from your hand and your strength ebbs away as the day and the world slips away and you drift off into la la land.

My morning coffee during my favorite time of day, early morning. To me that first coffee is a total experience..the aroma..the taste..the warmth and the quiet, freshness of a new day

When I give my young kids a hug at night after a really good day and instead of the usual quick hug...sometimes they’ll squeeze just a little harder and longer as if to say..I really love you...Totty.

Getting a compliment from my shvigger (mother in law). For some reason I get a thrill out of her compliments.

Hearing live music from unexpected sources. Sometimes I’ll take the subway and I’ll be treated to a beautiful interlude while waiting for the train. I’ll walk down the street and hear the soft chords of a piano wafting down from a window..and I’ll stop and listen for awhile...

A 6th little pleasure that I've discovered these past few months..is writing something in my blog..and coming back a few hours later to find 6-7 intelligent comments..that always puts a smile on my face. But I can't say that it comes without exertion ;-)

I tag Pearl of Toronto..

My Shower Life...

2005-12-14T11:17:00.000-05:00

Ok I admit it..my shower life has been pretty dull for a pretty long time now. Just a boring shower head with boring soap and shampoo and since I shower early in the morning I don’t even get to sing anymore. For awhile now I’ve been suspecting that my wife has a far more exciting shower experience with all those scrunchy pink things and scrubs lying around.

A few weeks ago I decided to spice up my time under the spray. I went out and splurged on a new super shower head for $200. Wow, my shower time has increased by 50% and I just get lost under the hot super spray of that huge head.
After a few days I started playing around with the different settings.
I’ll be honest with you, I don’t get most of them. First there’s the limp “we’re almost out of water” setting...why would anyone choose that? Then there’s the painful setting that feels like thousands of needles shooting into you at once...sort of what it must feel like in the Braveheart battle with all the arrows coming down at once. Then there’s the “massage” setting.... I mean my 3 year old son gives better and stronger massages than that. Well the one I like and use, is the strong, wide and steady rainlike spray with the center pulsing a little harder..mmmm

On to the soap and shampoo. I don’t shop much so I’m sort of out of the loop when it comes to what’s out there. I’ve been using Irish Spring soap and a mixture of Pert, VO and a few other shampoos.
I had an eye opening experience last week when I went to my sister for shabbos. I’m taking a shower and there on the windowsill is about 30 types of shampoo. For a second I thought I was standing naked in aisle 14!
When did Snapple start making Shampoo?
There’s Strawberry, Raspberry, Strawberry Kiwi, Strawberry Banana, Chamomile, Vanilla, Green Apple, Apple Cinnamon...yum to name a few.
Now I know where my grandmothers ever present scent comes from, she must use Onion Garlic shampoo.
Then there’s shampoo for oily hair, dry hair (how do you lather it in?), damaged hair, oily damaged hair, very oily hair, oily hair with dandruff, healthy hair and damaged dry healthy hair with oily dandruff. And then there was one copy of each in conditioner. What I don't get is ..my sister covers her hair and my brother in law is bald.
I felt real deprived. The shower experience has evolved and I’ve been left behind.
I’ve got some serious catching up to do.
After all is said and done..the shower is one of the last places on earth where you can truly get away from it all..no cell phones...no emails..just you... the steam..and the cleansing cascade of water....

No there’s no hidden message here..just a frivolous sketch of my shower world.

I'll huff..and I'll puff...and blow your brick facade down..

2005-12-11T21:34:00.000-05:00

Growing up, it seemed things were simpler. There were Brick houses and stucco houses, there were vynil and aluminum side houses and wood slat houses. I’m not sure when I started noticing this, but suddenly I’m seeing more and more homes with fake brick fronts.
Now as an artist and as someone with a strong aesthetic sensitivity I find these very unnerving.

In Art there is this concept of form = function = beauty. An apple is a beautiful thing..it’s an apple, it fills its function perfectly. You turn it around, and it’s an apple every way you look at it. It has functional integrity, truth and beauty. A brick house or a stucco house or a siding house is, even in a dilapidated state is beautiful in that its form meets its function and it’s a home.

When I walk down the street and see a home with a fake brick front, I’m thinking... who are you kidding? If I happen to stand across the street at a 45 degree angle and look at your house I might be fooled into thinking it’s brick? You couldn’t even fool the Big Bag Wolf with that false front. Sometimes I walk down certain streets and I feel like I’m on a Hollywood set with all the false fronts.

But then I think back to my simpler childhood and I find that the people reflected this phenomenon as well. People were true to themselves. There were those that wore grey hats, and those that wore black hats, those that wore straw hats and those that wore none. The “grey hatters” wore grey hats and the “black hatters” wore..you guessed it...black hats.
Today the “grey,straw and hatless” all wear black hats. They all put up false fronts.

There is a quote from the Chozeh of Lublin...
A Rosha (wicked person) that knows he’s a Rosha..is far better than a Tzaddik (righteous person) that knows he’s a Tzaddik.

All non-essential humans ..stay home..

2005-12-09T12:32:00.000-05:00

You know when you wake up in the morning and after a few seconds of catching your bearings you suddenly remember ..hey, it's supposed to be snowing now.
That's what happened to me this morning. I jolted up, opened the blinds and its...raining?
So here I am..all stocked up with piles of firewood, bags of chestnuts, 3 new sleds and a new pair of gloves...and this storm is a no show.
I turn on the radio and although I've heard this announcement many times in the past, it suddenly struck me as a little bizarre. "All non-essential workers..please stay off the roads today". Now..how exactly do you know if you're non-essential or not? Imagine working at a firm for 10 years just to find out you're "non-essential"? I mean if you view yourself as non essential why bother coming in on a sunny day?
That got me thinking..How many of us are essential in our every day life?
How essential am I to my kids?
How can I make myself an essential person to as many people as possible?

Some thoughts to ponder while I shovel the slush....

God is One

2005-12-07T22:22:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I took my kids to the Liberty Science Center.
There was an interesting exhibit there. It was basically a large screen with a short film.
It begins with a wide angle shot of our entire universe then zooms in again and again through the cosmos to the milky way...to our solar system ...to earth...North America...to a park on the shores of Lake Michigan..to a napping sun bather...zooming into his body through his skin..into his organs....cells...further and further through the maze of DNA, chromosomes...until all you see are atoms (and quarks..but we’ll stop at the atom) dancing around. Right there at the closest you can possibly zoom ..just thousands of atoms. What struck me is that if you were to pan the camera over a little to the grass and zoomed in that much, you’d see the same thing. Everything in this universe can be broken down to it’s common denominator the atom. If the atom would suddenly disappear everything would just cease to exist. What an amazing concept!
Jewish literature is full of the idea that the physical world mirrors the meta-physical. Now take this concept and we can appreciate the idea that everything in this world is a manifestation of Godliness. Rabbenu Bechaya says Hashem Echad..God is One... Everything is god and god is hidden in everything. Take the number one and expand it, no matter how large and complex the number will become, in reality it’s just a bunch of ones. If one were to take away the number one, every number in the world would cease to exist! At the moment of creation there was Yesh M’eyin “something from nothing”..pure godliness and the purest act of love. Everything that was to be formed and created until the end of time was compacted into that first thing.. As it unfolded it became more difficult to see the love and godliness with our limited vision and perception, but the number one is there hidden. Hashem Echad!
I hope you guys see the atom connection.
Our job is to seek out Godliness in everything and everywhere...and to believe that everything God does is pure love and good.

Let it snow...Let it snow...Let it snow...

2005-12-06T14:52:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've enjoyed my morning coffee as much as I have this morning. Sitting at the bay windows looking out to the backyard during that wonderful hour we call dawn.
Those unraked leaves are not there to taunt me anymore, that unfinished paving project nowhere to be seen. All the blemishes that bear witness to my procastinating nature neatly tucked away under 6 inches of fresh snow. Overnight, everything so surreal, so beautifully bathed in the pink early morning light.

Slowly sipping...watching a family of deer running through the woods in the distance....everything so silent..

mmm life is good...

until the snow melts.

"...Im yihyu chatoeichem k'shonim..k'sheleg yalbin..."

Ode to the weekend....

2005-12-04T20:18:00.000-05:00

I will never understand what it means to be a workaholic.
I cannot relate to the desire to work..
I look at people rich enough to support 4 generations
who shlep everyday to work into their 70s and 80s
reveling in Adams curse..

Can anyone enlighten me?
Is anyone out there afflicted
with this strange malady?

Until then I'll sigh..
over another weekend gone by....

Dude..what's that on your hubcap??

2005-12-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

So...here I am in the back seat of a minivan spacing out and staring out the window after a long day. Cruising along in moderate traffic my eyes jumping from one car to another watching people who are oblivious to the fact that they're being watched.... when a cute green Volkswagen Beetle slowly enters my view..traveling a few mphs slower than we were. Suddenly something catches my eye and my vision reluctantly moved down from the pretty hipster singing to herself down to the hubcaps..and lo and behold spinning around happily in the center of the hubcap is a Swastika! No..I was not seeing things. I jolted up..and started looking around for other Volkswagens but most were going to fast or slow. There was only one very disturbing conclusion..
The Volkswagen logo was designed to become a swastika when it's spun at 30-40 miles per hour.
Am I the only person on earth that knows this??

When I got home I did a google search and..there was one mention of it online on someone else's blog a few years ago...and that's it. But I began reading into the history of VW and it makes sense. Volkswagen was the brainchild of Hitler that wanted every German family to afford a car. Volks-Wagen means The Nation's or People's car.
Isn't it ironic that the Fuehrers car should..20 years later be adopted by the left wing hippy movement?
The maximum speed back then was about 40 miles per hour so everything makes sense. I'm just surprised that no one seems to know about this. Actually the guy that designed the VW logo is alive and suing VW at this moment for not being compensated so I guess..we can find old Nikolai Borg and ask him himself.

Next time you're out driving keep your eyes out for a VW.....

lynching!

2005-11-29T10:44:00.000-05:00

The bus had just dropped her off..she looked like a wreck. Her pretty face streaked with tears, she averted my gaze, although I was a total stranger to her. Just then a soda can slammed into the side of her face and a loud cheer went up..from the gleeful faces at the windows of the departing bus.
I was not the only witness.
It was broad daylight on a busy street.
No one said a thing.
You see.. the victim and perpetrators were 8-9 years old.
I often wonder, at how children can be so, so cruel.
Anyone who grew up overweight, with a funny name, nervous twitch or darker than usual can attest to this.
Ultimately children are selfless creatures, they won't seriously hurt someone but they'll hurt someone enough to entertain themselves.
I wanted so badly at that moment to do something to protect that little girl but she was gone in an instant...but I suppose we could just just continue on our way muttering..kids will be kids.

One comforting thought...
Thank goodness kids are too little to pick on us adults...lol

Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T10:50:00.000-05:00

Ok. I'm sitting here..about to write about how thankful I am for everything.
I have a wonderful family, beautiful and healthy children, healthy parents, wonderful in laws, friends I can rely on...
But really what's the point?
I should be telling them how thankful I am. When was the last time I did that? I'd be getting away cheap by just posting my thanks in a blog where it won't be read by them..and if it will be read by them they'll have no clue it's me.

Perhaps I should just Thank God here..(does he read blogs?...yikes!). Sometimes he's so good to me I wonder if he still cares about me, cuz I know that I don't deserve it.

Observations in Shul Part II - Tachanun

2005-11-23T15:37:00.000-05:00

Here's one point in Davening that always cracks me up...
I'll give you a play by play in slow motion.

Let's go to the videotape...

The Chazzen finishes shemonah esrei.."Hamevurech es amoi bashuloim...."

Here comes the Tachanun Pause
Suddenly there's this pause..it's as if everyone in shul morphs into Baalei Teshuvah their first day in shul with blank looks on their faces as if..unsure of what to do next..
Then suddenly..the terrifying realization starts settling in..the realization that we will be saying tachanun today. No Bris..No Chosson..No Yahrtzeit..No Siyum...

Now if there indeed is some hero that calls out "Kaddish" from the back of the shul, then turn your attention to the 2-3 Litvaks in the Minyan. They react as if someone just took their morning coffee out of their hand.
The funny thing is that that's how they reacted yesterday and the day before as well. You'd think they'd catch on by now.

Actually according to Kabbalistic sources you should try avoiding Tachanun if you can.

Observations in Shul...

2005-11-22T16:51:00.000-05:00

This morning in shul, I was observing some interesting happenings.
You have about 40% of the people coming on time then..
Some people come by Boruch Sheomar, some by Ashrei, some by Yishtabach and some by Shemonah Esrei.

Those that come by Boruch Sheomar think that the guy who comes by Ashrei is a *sheigitz

The one that comes by Boruch Sheomar thinks that the guy who comes by Yishtabach is a *sheigitz

The one that comes by Yishtabach looks at the guy who comes by Shemonah Esrei as a *sheigitz

And the guy that comes by Shemonah Esrei...well..he.. **takeh is a *sheigitz...

*bum
**truly is

Celebrating Death- an observation

2005-11-21T11:23:00.000-05:00

There comes a time in the year
When something very unnatural occurs
We gather in our outdoor life
The fruits of our labor and earth
There's nothing she can offer us anymore

It is at that moment that we celebrate death
We clamor to observe her in her glory
We breathe in her crisp air
And watch as she lets go of her source
Falling to the ground in graceful finality

Can it be?
Can death hold such beauty?
Perhaps it is because, hidden inside these lifeless leaves
lie the nutrients of next springs rebirth.

Let Freedom Ring....

2005-11-17T11:11:00.000-05:00

Stuck in the flow of eternity
Given 70-80 years to grow
Our opportunity to define
who we are and where we go

Our souls are defined by how we end
The path taken is the path taken forever
And yet we chain ourselves
To the shackles of habit and flow

Free ..all you want is freedom
Freedom to grow Freedom to know Freedom to fly
Free... all you need is freedom

“Nafshenu K’tzippor Nimlata”
That’s all your soul really wants..

Monet..Pissaro and..our world.

2005-09-18T11:52:00.000-04:00

I love Art. There's nothing like standing before a great painting in a museum and getting lost in the moment the painting was created. I'm especially drawn to the Impressionist and Post Impressionist movement. What they did to art is nothing short of remarkable and they were one of the first groups to fuse philosophy and art.

Now..I'm not here to give a discourse on Art. I think there is a great and beautiful lesson to be learnt from the likes of Monet and Renoir.
Here's what the idea of Impressionism is. Until the mid 1800s Art was basically if you're painting a tree, you paint a physical tree - if you paint a person..so you paint the physical anatomical person. Impression came along and said that in reality when you look around what you're seeing is an Impression of a tree. The impression is created by all kinds of external elements..mainly light. If you compare the paintings above you'll see what I mean. They're paintings of the cathedral in Rouen painted at different times of the day by Monet. Basically the underlying premise is that The True Reality of the object is based on the Impression the object makes on you.

This idea is very true in a moral sense as well. One of the most important ethical commandments in the Torah is to always judge others favorably.
I never understood that. What am I accomplishing by judging this person favorably in my mind if the reality is different?

But the truth is..I've come to realize how correct the Impressionists were. Your reality..your Weltanschauung..is the impression that the subject has on you. If he makes a favorable impression than that becomes Reality in your world. The same is true with your attitude. If one has an optimistic approach to everything than his palette is lighter..if one only sees negativity then well..everything is few shades darker.

So take out your brushes set up your easel..and start painting your world...Impressionist style.

The Big 40!!

2005-08-25T22:09:00.000-04:00

How does one face 40?
It’s a big number. I can still remember vividly my fathers 40th Birthday party. I stare into the mirror and there he is the 40 year old with the vaguely familiar face, receding hairline, some grey hairs here and there, a few wrinkles here and there. I sit back humbled and think and contemplate if I can only be 30 again and sigh. 10 precious years. My goodness, My Yeshivah adolescent boy was only 8..if I can only teach him more..be a bigger part of his life in those formative years. If only..I’d learnt more, accomplished more. If I’d only appreciated the greatest decade of a persons life more ..their 30s. Young yet mature..making money..not yet burdened by debilitating expenses of having older children..

Now..I sit back read and re-read this paragraph and a smile forms on my face..
You see..Last week was my 30th Birthday! What kind of decade will I have? I don’t know but my heart pounds when I think of being in the present, in my situation. Such a glorious pressure!

Happy Birthday Me!

Post vs Times

2005-08-24T14:06:00.000-04:00

Isn't it amazing how you can read 2 newspapers on the same day, published in the same city and yet when you're done reading them you could swear they were published on 2 different planets!
While the Times is telling me about massacres in Africa that are killing tens of thousands of people the Post is telling me about Linsay Lohan being seen with a new boyfriend.
It takes me about 5 minutes to finish the Post during breakfast while it takes 2 hours to read half of the Times.

Of course the big question is ..Is the Times ant-Israel or not? I'll be honest with you..not enough to make me throw it away in disgust and personally I'd rather get 2 or 3 pages covering a story from every angle (yes, including the Palestinian angle) and then come up with my own conclusions to having one side force fed to me in one paragraph.
But on the issue ..of the Times being Anti-Israel..I've given it much thought. I guess fundamentally it comes down to this
..Are there 2 sides to this conflict?
Is there even a Palestinian side to it?
Is it wrong to empathize with Palestinians suffering? or..is it like empathizing with the citizens of Dresden at the time in 1945?

Feel free to comment..

Damn..That hurts..!

2005-08-22T15:20:00.000-04:00

I've been dealing with 3 distinct pain related issues this past year and have had some time to dwell on the sensation we call pain.
So much has been made of Pleasure..well let's not forget her partner sensation ...Pain.

Disclaimer: I've never had a Kidney Stone attack nor have I given birth.

But pain is a funny thing (rhetorically)..because after it leaves..you sort of long for the intense sensation. I guess I can see how people translate pain into pleasure. I tried hard to metally and completely conquer the pain and found it impossible, however you can manage it in a way that it doesn't consume you (I haven't figured out how to do that with pleasure yet..lol).

Ok. The first painful occurance was a scratched cornea..the second was intense back pain and the third a tooth ache.
I'm not sure which was the worst..when it comes to pure intensity of pain I think the tooth ache takes the cake..because there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I was literally up all night..climbing the walls in pain.
Back pain really makes you imobile though.
As for the scratched cornea...it's just plain miserable...you cant stop tearing up..you cant see..and it hurts...Damn it hurts!

The bottom line is..whatever pain you happen to be going through at that moment..becomes the worst pain to have ever existed...

Zol zein a kapurah!

D

Why the Children??

2005-08-19T10:07:00.000-04:00

Ok..Time to get a little serious. I know I'm treading on touchy topics here but I'll speak my mind anyway.

This picture and others like it really upset me. Here is a child in obvious anguish being pulled out of a home getting "kicked out" of his/her home under extremely distressing circumstances. Now..one thing I'm sensitive to is the suffering and anguish of children. Children have no place in a conflict.
But....Who do I blame for this childs anguish?
I don't blame the soldiers..they are following orders and with utomst sensitivity.
I don't blame Sharon either because I, and more than 50% of the population of Israel think this disingagement was inevitable and even if you don't agree with Sharon to think that he means to harm Israel or he's just polishing up his own post mortem image is rediculous. Here's a man who has lived Israels history! Who gave blood and guts to this country.
The blame squarely falls on this childs mother. She has had ample time to prepare for this. Why couldn't she send her children to relatives inside the green line? If you want to fight for your beliefs..fine..But please..leave the children out it. They will be traumatized for life.

D

The Candle

2005-08-18T10:45:00.000-04:00

Here's a little poem..I jotted down after the passing of a Holocaust Survivor Grandparent a few weeks ago...

A magnificent room illuminated by hundreds of candles
But nature extinguishes them one by one
You glance back and memorize every detail
As long as there is still some flickering light

For hundreds of years, our Tradition was passed on seamlessly
All of a sudden the seams so violently ripped and severed
Still, we have the comfort of being in the presence of the generation
That saw, smelled, heard, felt the European experience of a millennia

But the candles that allow us to peer into the room that was the old world
Are going out..Turn around..look...ask...grab onto those whom we love
Those that know and remember.
Soon we will be all alone. Can we go on..alone?

David

Maiden Post...

2005-08-17T12:38:00.000-04:00

After weeks of scrawlings on the walls of other bathrooms I've decided to take the plunge..(I know.. horrible imagery..lol).

I'm just debating where to start. Something serious or frivolous? Goodness I've got alot to say. Stay tuned.

D