"..at least waste your time with something important."

100th and Final Post!

2006-06-28T18:15:00.000-04:00

Another Day...Another Dream Dies

2006-06-22T13:54:00.000-04:00

A child is born
The world fills with bubbles
Dreams...
Opportunities
Endless possibilities

A 10 year old dreaming
Awed by the bubbles that fill
The Air
Your Dreams
Floating higher...still

Each bubble a dream

Doctor
Rebbe
Baseball player
Lawyer
Rosh Yeshiva
Policeman
Painter
Rich guy
Singer
Kiruv
Professor

As the days pass
The hours disappear
Another week
Another year
The bubbles slowly
Pop
Slowly
Pop
One by one
Too late to become this
Too late to learn that
Pop
Pop

And the years go by...
And you do And you try
Until you grow old and tired
Weak and retired
And you lay
Suspended
On your hammock
Under your favorite oak tree
You look up and you see
A few bubbles float by
In the clear blue sky

You smile and you sigh
So content
Serene
Lazily watching the last bubble fly

The sum
Of what you’ve become

And as your eyes close
The sky suddenly fills anew
With millions of bubbles
As a new child...is born

Trends

2006-06-20T22:14:00.000-04:00

What is a trend
Is it a means or an end?
How can beauty
..................... yesterday?

Vanish away?

What is beauty?
Real or imagined?
A car that was truly beautiful and desirable in its day
Sitting ugly in the garage bay.
A pair of glasses that was the height of high design
Now hidden away thick in its dusty shrine.
Weren’t they beautiful in their time?
They haven’t changed

We want to know
that you know
and they know
that we have
what you say
and they say
is beautiful
Is desirable
And the minute
That they stop
And you stop
To say so
Then the new scent
Disappears
And we wait
And see
What you’ll say
And they’ll say
Is beautiful
Next

And that my friend
Is a trend

True Love

2006-06-16T13:41:00.000-04:00

L’cha Dodi...Likraas Kalah
Every week...I dance for you
I dance with joy
I dance with shame
Every week you find me
Laying in the mud
You lift me
Embrace me
My mind cannot fathom
So my heart takes over..
Your love
Your love for me
As you take me in you arms
I hold you
Mold you to me
You hold me...kiss me
A tear escapes from
My heart
As I whisper..
It’s you I love
You’re my one and only
You whisper back..I know..I know
And hold me tighter still
I try to commit to memory
The sweetness of your lips
The scent of roses
I look into your eyes and I promise
I promise to love you and no other
Please let me feel you this intensely
Every minute...every moment
Hoping deep down
That you won’t have to come looking for me
Next week..
That I won’t have to avert my eyes
In shame
As you lift me from the mud...into your arms..
Good Shabbos

Please remember me...20th of Sivan

2006-06-13T21:45:00.000-04:00

Kolymaya, Ukraine 20th Sivan 5449 (1689)

Watching my Zeidie shuffle into the room on one leg and a stick settling into his favorite chair at the window. The room and house bare of food and provisions. His ever sad eyes staring into the distance..the steppes..rolling hills..tattered village.
Those eyes that have been witness to the greatest tragedy that has befallen us since the destruction of Jerusalem 1500 years ago.
The glorious communities of Poland, Galitzia, Volhynia, Ukraine and Lithuania. By invitation of Casimir The Great the Jews prospered here for 300 years. We enjoyed unparalleled freedom and peace. Our Rabbis organized a sweeping pseudo-government that enjoyed almost complete autonomy. The Council of the Four Lands made sure everyone was taken care of, settled all court cases and was led by the greatest leaders of their time including the Taz and the Shach.

All this came to a shattering and devastating end in 1648-1649. We’re still so stunned that it’s difficult to comprehend.
In the year 1648 Ukranian Cossacks organized a militia under the rabid anti-semite Bogdan Chmelniecki. They came sweeping in from the Eastern Steppes like a sudden dark thunderstorm in midday. The attacks against the Jews began almost immediately and thus 2 years of hell began. These years have been come to be known as Tach v’Tat.
The Cossacks were fierce warriors and were expert horse riders. They came thundering in to a town on their swift and powerful horses, swords drawn and overwhelmed the defenseless Jews. The drunken shouts, terrified screams
another child murdered
another girl raped

After 2 years the incomprehensible number stares us in the face.
300,000.
300,000 men women and children killed. Every single one stabbed or pierced to death.
Tens of thousands of our sisters, mothers and daughters brutally raped.
Entire villages wiped out.
Desolate.
Entire regions reduced to poverty..starvation.
A lone violinist tries to capture the sadness the grief..the solitude.
How does one bury ones entire family?
How does one pick up the pieces?
With the joyful memories haunting us in the hollowness of the empty children’s room.

Sure during the crusades we’d suffered a few hundred here..a few hundred there...
During other troublesome times..there have been massacres.
But never on this scale...

The Council is meeting this week in Zhitomir down the road.
They’ve decided to institute a day of remembrance and prayer.
Every year on the 20th of Sivan Jews will gather and say special selichos composed for the occasion and fast.
There were those that were against it on the argument that who needs a special day..how can we ever forget what happened?
There were those that argued that it won’t help. It’ll be forgotten in another few generations anyhow. Perhaps a worse tragedy will befall us G-d have mercy.
So I sit and watch my Zeidy and wonder what’s causing that tear to slowly roll down his cheek.
Is it memories of his parents being killed in front of him?
Of his infant son?
Of his beautiful sister who committed suicide after 2 weeks of violation and humiliation?

40 years have passed since 1649 and the last survivors are passing on swiftly..on to a better place to rejoin the 300,000 that await them.
Who will bear witness to what happened?
Will future generations remember?
Remember our tragedy?

_____________

This Friday is the 20th of Sivan. Please spare one moment to remember Tach vTat.
Our grandparents and their tragedy.

Let’s hope in 200 years from now (if g-d forbid Moshicach hasn't come) our great-granchildren won’t be here pleading to spare a moment to remember the Holocaust.

YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaw!

2006-06-11T16:44:00.000-04:00

Here I am cruising down the road on Friday when suddenly this car just rolls right through a Stop sign and crosses my path. I had no time to swerve or stop and I SMASHed right into her side spinning her car around.
It happened so fast yet so sloooow freeze frame...The moment when you internalize ...”I’m about to crash”
To the shattering glass twisting metal screeching tire sound and sensation...
My car ended up in someone’s front yard windshield and other windows shattered..I got out and angrily confronted this black woman..
You Idiot*..idiot! didn’t you see the Stop sign??
Totally disoriented but feeling fine...I called my wife to tell her I’m fine.
Next thing I know..the cops are there. She admits that she didn’t see the Stop sign.
I feel a tap on my shoulder it’s a paramedic asking if I’m the driver of that car...
I answer affirmatively and they tell me not to move. My neck is stabilized a board is pressed to my back and I’m swept off my feet. I protest in vain...
My poor wife expecting to find a small fender bender sees a cacophony of flashing lights and her husband being lifted into the back of an ambulance.
Suddenly I wasn’t feeling so good. For a split second I was even thinking..wouldn’t it be ironic to die 2 days after my 2045 post?
If I died would anyone in bloggosphere know? Would they just assume I decided to stop blogging?

Thank G-d I was released 2 hours later..and I’m fine.

The crazy thing about the crash was..It was alot of fun!
The Airbag opened and I didn’t feel a thing. It was quite the thrill.
The feeling of crashing..smashing...but this invisible force field around you that cushions you from hitting anything.

This aint’ your parents car crash.

*Name changed to protect identity.

June 7, 2045. A look back

2006-06-07T20:42:00.000-04:00

June 7, 2045
Just got back from the doctor. My arthritis has really been acting up again.

Wow it’s been 40 years!

Time to reflect a little...

a quick look around the blogosphere....

Ahhh remember those innocent early days of blogging? The days when we actually had to read the blogs word for word instead of having them zipped into your brains? When we had to suffer through annoying anonymous comments without being able to zap their writers to oblivion.

It’s so cute to see all the new generations of bloggers coming and going over the years..but the first generation is still king.

Who would’ve believed back then..that Frum Girl would be a multi millionaire from her Alice in Wonderland/Cinderella movie series?

That Social Worker/Mom /Grandmom would be showing her paintings at MOMA?
Remember her first Cove painting?

That Toronto Pearlie would be such a famous author..?

ZenJew, TurquoiseBlue and Genendy have all held the prestigious Poet Laureate post.

How long has it been since the Parliament in the UK amended the rules to allow a US born citizen to be Queen clearing the way for Kasambas ascension to the throne?

35 years since we were all arrested at anonym00kies over the top wedding...at 4AM.

How long since Afraid Girl became Courageous Woman?

Its been 22 years since Nobody became Somebody (and 5 since she admitted she LOVES poetry).

TuesdaysWishes..have come true..and she's moved on to Wednesday..

11 years since Open Up has Closed Up.

Mata Hari has become the first Orthodox Woman CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
Btw...Your family looks great on the cover of Time.

25 years since Moiy got the word “teh” into the English language (btw..Happy 63rd and Happy 144th to your neighbor).

theonlywayiknow has finally admitted that she knows other ways...

10 years since I discovered that the new incredible Rebbitzen at our shul is none other then Ayala.

Lakewood Venter is complaining that he’s not being let into Lakewood Courtyard assisted living home because rumour has it...he goes to Bingo games
.
Chaverah has come back after 40 years..remember her?

BrownEyedGirl spotted a hottie being wheeled down the boardwalk.

Great post today by Also a Chussid explaining the 16 different splinter groups of Satmar.

On a positive note the FDA has finally approved a Viagra for women pill, which Dating Master Jerusalem slipped into his wifes drink a few weeks ago
...they haven’t been seen since.

Wow great post today by JewishBeforeHuman.

A working girl..moved to the states..I convinced her to change that title as it can have other connotations here in the States.

A Frum Idealist is still an Idealist..incredible considering what we’ve been through.

The Pragmatician has long since given up being pragmatic.

Eishet Chayil is truly an Eishet Chayil and mother.

Sarah has posted phenomenal pictures of cells inside a rose petal.

Lvnsm is taking a break..(this time for real).

Barbara has finally crossed that verge of thinking threshold....she’s no longer a verge-en.

YY has just released his newest music list..wow love that new song by Sean Preston Federline Spears. I just read a report saying that his phenomenal voice can be attributed to a re-alignment of his vocal chords that can only occur when dropped at a very young age.

Stacey I know you’re approaching 80 but you still look and write like a youngster.

Masmida I finally found that Ushpizin DVD...and....I saw a DVD player at the Antique Store down the block..if you’re interested let me know.

SouthernYid loves his new farm in Oklahoma, part of his never ending quest to live in the smallest most out of town community possible.

Karl and Shoppy are about to celebrate their 39th Anniversary. Who could forget the 30th bash we threw for them?..our very own Blog couple
....they’re so happy out on their gorgeous yacht in the Atlantic.

Bueno. Tengo que ir ahora.. mi grandkids aquí deberá visitar..

Yup 17 years since Spanish became our official language....it’s kinda growing on me..

Adios.

Empty Room

2006-06-05T16:06:00.000-04:00

Empty room..
Gaudy
Big
Gaudy
Haughty
She stands over her precious
Protecting her
Watching over
Windows all around
Not a sound
Faces pressed to the pane
Insane
Intense gazes
Siblings..Grandparents..Principals..Teachers..Rebbeim
Faces..
Presence...
The room..the air
Thick
Unsafe..Unfit
For your little lungs..
Must shield her
Don’t fight..
Don’t fight it..
It worked for your sisters
Shhh Stop.....
Its for your good..
Mommy stop..I can’t breathe
Why are you so difficult..?
Cant you see I’m protecting you..?
Ziesskeit..
Look at this air..
Stop..
Just a little more...
shhh
All those eyes..
Thru the dusty air..
struggling
Mommy...stop...you’re hurting me..
YOU’re sMOTHERing me...
Shhhh...stop
Shhh..
Anxiously..oh Hashem....
Pinning her...
please just a few more minutes
Years
Mom STOP
I Can’t FUCKING Breathe

Gasp

The eyes disappear
One by one..
Shaking their heads..
Leaving
Smudge marks on the pane
The pain
Exhausted..

Just go

In disgust...

Dawn

2006-05-31T19:55:00.000-04:00

Surging mass through the narrow stone streets ..
brothers and sisters hurrying
Hushed murmur..scurrying
Pre dawn darkness...
Pulled magnetically toward the holiest spot on earth.
After an exhausting night in the Beis Hamidrash
Adrenaline pumping
Excited birds circling overhead
Thousand of fluttering Taleisim
Swaying...
Praying..
A white bird..
Circles up above..
Awestruck
Thousands of voices
Sephardi
Ashkenazi
Chassidish
Litvish
Dati
Yemenite
Reaching a crescendo..Shma..
Be still my heart..
Impatiently looking around..
for Moshiach...
The moment..
Tzur Yisrael Kumah B’ezras Yisrael..
Ufdei K’numecha..Yehuda V’Yisrael...
Then...
Decible level drops from LOUD to...
Absolute silence...
Collective sigh
At the very moment the sun light fights it way over the horizon
Lights up the sky..
Colors the city..
Gold
Brilliant
In the fervent silence.
No different accents
One People...
I look around one more time...
So...sure he’d come...

.

Live, Love, Learn

2006-05-30T21:05:00.000-04:00

Spring..
Shavuos..
Giving..Receiving...
Spring is a time of Love..
Shavuos a time to Learn
Love...
Every Mitzvah..is a task from him...our love
The less it makes sense..the more love...
Life...
The lifeblood of our Nation...
Heart..Soul...Body..
Learn...
His wisdom...
Attach your mind to his..

This Shavuos I want to...
Live to Learn
Learn to Live
Live to Love
Love to Live
Learn to Love
Love to Learn
Live to Love to Learn

WARNING: This product may cause........

2006-05-28T20:53:00.000-04:00

I interrupt this blog for an important Common Sense announcement.

A few weeks back there were some letters written to Mishpacha magazine from people complaining about the fact that the magazine advertises too many luxury items..such as Pesach Hotel packages etc..

I find it mind boggling that someone would sit down and pen a letter about this.
As my Granadfather always says..Vuss iz dein Chazzerishe bizness..vuss s’tit zich bei yennem (What’s it your Chazzerishe business what the other guy does)??
Many blogs online complain about the fact that people are living luxurious lifestyles putting pressure on neighbors to live like the Joneses.

But those that can’t sleep at night..should learn some Mussar..instead of complaining about all the luxuries in our communities.

While talking about the influx of luxurious lifestyles...shouldn’t we also talk about Lo Sachmod (not coveting)?

Why do we always take the easy way out by shifting the weight onto those things not fully in our control?

It doesn’t say Thou shalt not make thy neighbor covet....it says...You...every individual shall not covet.

Yet we project all our personal smallness, failures on society..

If you’ve ever bought a Lotto ticket or heard a lotto commercial you’ve seen in small letters on bottom or heard at the end of the commercial....”if you have a gambling problem call 1-800-........”

I think we should add to every advertisement about Pesach Getaways..Luxury Cars etc..”if you have a Lo Sachmod problem call 1-800......” and set up a 24 hour hotline for those that get heart palpitations every time their neighbor makes another extension.

The Lost City

2006-05-25T21:06:00.000-04:00

A quick read through the frum blogosphere will find you in various locales.

In the New York area you have many bloggers in Flatbush a few in Boro Park a smattering of Williamsburg and Manhattan.

Lakewood is surprisingly well represented and so are other towns and villages in suburbia.

However there is one city that is eerily absent.

If one should live his life on blogs (as I suspect many do) they'd never know this place exists.

It’s a major Jewish center...and yet I have yet to see a single blog written by someone from this town or about this town.

It's as if there are no issues..or poets living there...

This modern day virtual Atlantis is none other than Monsey.

Where on earth is Monsey?
Anyone who has ever taken the Monsey Bus knows that Monsey people have plenty to say.

Are they still living in the dark ages up there....in the Ramapo Hills?

Just something I’ve observed and wondered about.

Anyone have any clue?

subway LIFE

2006-05-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

The platform fills in the blink of an eye
Swarming masses exiting doors...
Descending stairs..
They take their places
This one...right at the edge
That girl ..behind the pole
A crowd gathers to watch....
Some out of boredom
Others to enjoy
The strains of a violin
The high pitched ebb and flow
Of the Celtic tones..drawn from the bow
Delicately pulled by the coal black fingers
Of the coal black violinist with his fixed white smile
White glint in his eye..and white hat on a tilt

The businessman in the sharp blue suit
Locks eyes..
With the girl in the faded jeans..
Forging connection..
connection Forging?

Serenaded by the surreal tones of the violin

While the girl next to him fearfully
Eyes everyone in her sight

One fellow anxiously looks
Into the dark void
Waiting..looking for something
A train..?
perhaps

for him
the train rumbles in
terrifyingly loud
powerful

Another contently reads the art
On the walls
Listens to the music

for he
barely notices
the train has come..
to whisk him away

Look around...
Within 15 minutes
Everyone here now will be gone
This platform will be full
With an entirely new cast of characters
As people come and go...to their destinations
Trains rumble by..
Empty...
Full....
New passersby..New pass you bys
New lovers ..New haters

Witness to it all
The strains of the high pitched
Violin and the coal black fingers..
White smile and white hat on a tilt..
The look in his eye tells thousands of tales
As a new crop of people fill his space waiting
For the train that will take them away..
From his world..
Away

Embarrassing Moments...

2006-05-21T00:40:00.000-04:00

Everyone has their embarrassing moments.
Moments full of shame..
Some are tame
Others...
absolutely mortifying.

It’s a funny thing
This thing
Called shame

Because it comes and (sometimes) fades
In all sorts of shades
Of red...
Of dread...
Makes no distinction..
Between fact and fiction

Whether you’re caught with you hand in the cookie jar..
Or whether you’ve left the bathroom door ajar...
That feeling..
That burning feeling..leaves you reeling
Whether you deserve it or not

Not everyone can look back..and point to their most mortifying, embarrassing moment.
But alas..
I can

This shabbos...many many years ago
I was a Chosson...staying at my future in laws...late Friday night..when we thought everyone was asleep..and my Kallah and I...well..let’s just say..we weren’t saying Tehillim...when suddenly a movement caught my eye..
And there in the doorway was her very chassidishe grandfather..yes..the one that intimidated me from the first meet..and I saw my life flash before me...
and I was absolutely Mortified
Stupefied
Thinking...Cyanide

But luckily...it seems...and so I’ve heard..
A long..long time ago..he was a chosson too...

I’d love to hear some really embarrassing moments from you guys too....

Is Love all you really need...?

2006-05-17T15:29:00.000-04:00

This week we read the Tochacha in shul.

Moshe is goading the Jews to stay true to Hashem and the Torah.

What always bothered me was the positive (reward) to negative (punishment) ratio in this warning.
Haven’t we all been taught the importance of positive reinforcement?

This day and age when punishment is frowned down upon and here we have 1 page of rewards and 3 pages of pretty graphic punishment.

I’ve noticed often times I’ll really reach a spiritual high..I’ll daven good...feel a connection...and 10 minutes later it’ll disappear. Why does that happen..?

A quick peek around Blogworld will confirm..lottsa talk of Love...often accompanied with a resigned sigh at our inability to consummate that love..

I’ve come to realize that Love without Fear is not worth much.
If you bribe a child not to do something wrong..it’ll only work as long as the bribe is more exciting to the child than what he’d like to do.
If there was no fear of getting caught or the thought of hurting someone at all...there would be a lot more adultery in the world. Love can only work as long as you’ll never encounter anything that you’ll like more even if just temporarily.
Love can work if it’s backed up by Fear.
You can try goading a child with candies all days to no avail..the threat of one slap will get em running. That’s not ideal..but that threat will keep us in line.
The Steipler once said..the reason for cancer..is to instill fear into human hearts. We live in a time with so little fear.
Especially concerning our love of Hashem no matter how deep and real..is still abstract.
Hence all the threats of punishment.
We all feel our stomach tightening and chest thumping when we hear of someone young with cancer or a tumor..the realization for an instant that there is something to fear.

Only then can we reach the higher ideal of fear..which is the fear of ruining the love we share.

Lag B'Omer in Meron

2006-05-12T17:05:00.000-04:00

Darkness descends
Masses ascend
One purpose One destination
One soul ..The soul of a nation..
The soul of Our soul Revealed
The Zohar..
It’s an incredible
Indelible
Experience
2000 years ago R’ Shimon Bar Yochai revealed the secrets of the Torah..
The soul of our wisdom..
Breathing life into generations
Into me...
Higher and Higher up the mountain...
My focus becomes clearer and more focused
Inside...Inside...Inside
Inside
Everything outside
Falls to the wayside
Look at the bonfire..
At the bottom...dirty wood smoldering
Higher...hot flames dancing
Higher yet...sparks...soaring..
Thousands of sparks....filling the dark sky
Look higher...at every person..
At every human flame...

Pushing into the hot sweaty...room..
Lifted into the air...crying..praying...
Breathing..soaking...
Then dancing..swirling...
Inside..Inside..
Immersed in Jews..
Throngs crushing the life out of me..
Until I too become a spark..
And float high above...
Its all good..
Its all high...
Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai

Miles and miles away from everything mundane..
This is what its all about

I’ll see you Wednesday..

Why I wear a white shirt....

2006-05-11T13:20:00.000-04:00

There has been talk on some blogs about the color of ones shirt and how that affects public perception in Lakewood.

Here are a few reasons why I wear a white shirt.

1. There's no question that when you do something different people will stare and wonder.
This is not something new. In every community in every age if you do something out of the norm people will wonder...
Fact is 95% of people in Lakewood wear white shirts.

2. Wearing a white shirt says..yes, I have to work but where do I want to feel most comfortable?
In the halls of the Yeshiva/Beis Midrash or in the corporate halls?

3. I feel different enough inside that I don't feel the need for an article of clothing to make me feel that way.

4. To quote Bill Blass "The classiest item of clothing..is..hands down..the starched white shirt.."

5. It matches everything.

20 years in Heaven..8 hours in Hell

2006-05-09T12:03:00.000-04:00

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovehellhellhellhelltearslovelovel
lovelovehellhellyouhellhelllovelovelove
lovelovetearshellhellhellhellovelovelov
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Can 8 hours of hell overshadow 20 years of heaven?
Where is the justice in that?

I just want to screeeeeaaaam
Why?

May Hashem give you the strength
Claw
Tear
Tear
Rip
Fight
your way out of
------These 8 hours...
Tear
Back to the light
Of
love
love
---- love
love

Heaven

We can no longer continue...

2006-05-07T22:34:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry it's come to this...

We were once so hot together..we looked good..and complimented each other..

Then I started getting the itch...and you felt it...

I couldn't help it...it was your fault..and you know it..

It's reached a point now....you just make me feel old...look old...

and lately..

I've been having violent thoughts about....sharp blades..

About getting rid of you...in the most extreme and violent way possible..

My Dear....Sefirah Beard...your time has come...

Where have all the Thinkers gone?

2006-05-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

Where have all the thinkers gone...?
Where is that smoky salon?
Where is the passionate discourse?
Where is the oratory voice gone hoarse..?

Marx...Herzl...Bilaik
Slabodka...Novhardik
Spinoza...Locke...Kant
Izhbitche...Kotzk...Salant
The magic of an idea...an ideal
The will....the desire so REAL

I close my eyes..and travel back in time..
To a Paris café ..where praising Monet is a crime
To a premier in an Opera hall in Milan..
Where the composer is being booed and hissed on and on
People thinking..relating..
Artists starving..creating
Hope ..never more than a thought away
Money...not worth the time of day
Utopia...swirling around ..steel rim glasses
Teachers..blowing passion into their classes

There was a time when our youth was lost
Seduced by Bukharin and Zhabotinsky
Instead of marijuana and ecstacy
Singing the Internationale with fire in their eyes
Instead of moving to 50 cent as the eye flicker dies

It would be nice to be criticized once in awhile for a shoddy poem on my Blog...too

Food Chain

2006-05-01T15:43:00.000-04:00

I’ve discovered that I’m part of a very disturbing food chain.

After another exhausting Chol Hamoed trip we were sitting and recounting details of our sojourn..
As usual there were disparaging remarks about Chassidim eating all over and being pushy etc..
Then during the meal on Yom Tov a conversation came up about how Chassidim cheat the government on taxes and they don’t work...etc..
I passionately hate these conversation and everyone knows it. I think that it's always wrong and unfair to stereotype.

I realized then that we’re all part of the insecurity food chain...

Whatever right wing Frum people say about Chassidim..
Modern Orthodox say about right wing Frum...
Whatever Modern Orthodox say about right wing Frum people
Non Orthodox say about all Orthodox
And whatever Non Orthodox say about Orthodox
Non-Jews say about Jews...

So next time you’re about to feel all superior by trampling on someone who is supposedly “superior than you”..
remember.
You’re just a small ring in the food chain and at this very moment some anti-semite is probably saying the same exact thing about you to his children.

The Dreaded Tag

2006-04-28T12:33:00.000-04:00

Accent: I have my own accent. Made it up myself...

Booze: Light Italian Wines

Chore I Hate: Anything that could wait till tomorrow....

Dogs: If I weren't frum..I'd probably own one..

Essential Electronics: My iPod!

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: On my wedding night..I almost threw up from the strong scent of my new wifes perfume and ran gasping to the window! (a moment I'll never live down)..lol
Light perfume is ok..I like Escada Magnetism...
For me? I like Polo for men..but I rarely wear it.

Gold/Silver: Types of metals..?

Hometown: 3 Guesses

Insomnia: Whats that?..if you've been reading my blogs you'd know I love to sleeeeep

Job Title: Depends what time of day (or night)..

Kids: More than 2 ..less than 6

Living Arrangements: Comfortable

Most Admired Trait: Being "Real"

Number of sexual partners: Define "sex"...lol

j/k..of course 1

Overnight Hospital Stays: Too many :-(

Phobia: Claustrophobia

Quote: "Gam Zeh Ya'avor (This too shall pass)"

Religion: Jewish (FFB)

Siblings: More than 1 Less than 5

Time I usually wake up: 5:45

Unusual Talent: I can imitate all the Sesame Street Characters..among others...

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Any cooked vegetables...Love em raw...

Worst Habit: Procrastination

X-Rays: Whattabout em?

Yummy Foods I make: Linguini...and a wicked cholent

Zodiac Sign: Private

Ok. I tag ayala, Brown Eyes and Eshet Chayil and The Mata Hari and Shopaholic of course

Time Warp

2006-04-25T15:58:00.000-04:00

This past week I spent Shabbos at my parents house.
I slept in my bed..the bed and room I grew up in
The last time I slept here was the night before my wedding

The whole Shabbos was like a trip to the past...
Davening in my old Shul...
The old boys...
Same handshakes
Same cologne
A little greyer

Lying in my boyhood bed..
Shabbos morning
On the bookshelves...those old paperback Sidney Sheldon novels
That fueled adolescent hormones
Still there..
My sisters yearbook with my earliest crushes..
My Fathers deep voice resonating through the house
Just as I recall it...
As he learns at the kitchen table..
My mothers delicious cholent..assaulting my remaining sense
My eyes open wide...
Staring at the abstract wallpaper
Finding the same shapes and figures..in the pattern
That I fondly recall
The elephant head...mountain range
Young girl...with uneven eyes...half smile...staring down at me
As if to say wow..where have you been?

I could’ve gotten up earlier but I was waiting
For that moment..when my father softly knocked on my door
And in his deep yet soft voice intoned..
David..it’s time for Shacharis...

I smiled up..at that young girls peculiar smile...

I was home..

Confession

2006-04-21T12:41:00.000-04:00

I love my Mother In Law

There..I've said it.

This is one of the reasons why it’s so important to remain anonymous here.
Men around the world will read this post and cringe.
They will write me and threaten me

Oh how the Mother In Law has been reviled, loathed and hated over the years. The butt of more jokes than lawyers.

But I have to admit after spending yet another Yom Tov at my in laws, I’ve been blessed with an extraordinary M.I.L.

What makes her a good shvigger?
She treats me like a prince.
She doesn't mix into my life.
She never talks to my wife about me.
She's great to my kids.
She's helpful and supportive of everything I do.

So, I’d just like to take this moment and thank my in laws for everything.

Anyone else out there secretly willing to admit that their in-laws are wonderful people?

The Four Freedoms

2006-04-08T22:38:00.000-04:00

Thank G-d we live in a time and place, enveloped by the four freedoms immortalized by Norman Rockwell in his famous series. Freedom from fear, Freedom from want, Freedom of Religion, Freedom of speech.
As Jews we have never lived in an atmosphere so permeated with the spirit of freedom.

This liberty gives us the opportunity to turn inward and gain true freedom.
The most profound freedom..flight
To connect and break free all at once ..to and from ourselves
Our bodies
Four elements
Earth
Fire
Wind
Water
The Earth that pulls us down..spiritual and physical laziness
The Fire that enflames our anger and misdirects our passions
The Wind that makes us haughty props us up in castles in the air
The Water that quenches our thirst for the forbidden

So my task at hand is to truly re-enact the Exodus.
How?
My soul..my Neshama which is Chelek Elokai MiMaal (a portion and piece of Hashem himself)
Will try to redeem my body from the elements weighing her down..
Just as Hashem redeemed our nation.

I will lift the Four cups..and proclaim

V’Hotzeisi..and he has removed me from the the earth ..so that it shall not bury me..
V’Goalti...and he has redeemed me from the winds that create illusions of gradeur..
V’Hitzalti...and he has saved me from the fires that consume..
V’Lokachti...and he has taken me out of the waters that threaten to drown me..

True Freedom is when you're truly in synch with every part of you and you fly...

I’d like to wish everyone a Chag Kosher V’Sameach and a wonderful Pesach.
You guys are the best!